This Clock Is A Crock
A Visit To Portobello Market Doesn't Turn Out Too Well


Catherine :
Oh, there you are. You’ve been so quiet all day I thought perhaps you had gone out.

Miyu :

I’ve just been thinking about something, that’s all.

Catherine :
Anything I can help you with?

Miyu :

No, thank you, I’ll be fine.

Catherine :
All right, if you’re sure.

Miyu :
Except…

Catherine :
Yes?

Miyu :

The wonderful clocks you have, I’ve always admired them…

Catherine :
I know, just as I’ve always said you can borrow one if you like. I won’t mind, and I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t trust you with them.

Miyu :
…so last Saturday I went up to Portobello Market.

Catherine :
Did you see anything nice?

Miyu :

Well…

Catherine :
I like the way the bird is linked to the movement. Would you like me to polish it for you?

Miyu :

I actually like it dull, but… (*sigh*) it’s not very good, is it? I had to straighten out some of the bars, it needs winding every day instead of each week like all of yours, and it doesn’t keep very good time either. I knew it was a cheap-and-cheerful thing and not a genuine antique, but that didn’t worry me because I bought it purely for how it looked. (*sigh*) I wasn’t expecting it to be such a piece of junk, though. I wish I’d never bought it.

Catherine :
If it’s any consolation, I did the same thing many years ago, and was bitterly disappointed, just as you are now, so that’s why I only buy things from registered dealers. There must be a few in the Market, if you know what to look for. I know it’s rather large for you, but you can have this one for a while, if you like, and I’ll see what I can do for later in the year.

Miyu :

(*big smile*) Oh, it’s lovely!


Note from Catherine & Miyu : We don’t believe we’re saying this, but just in case there are any more Politically Correct Morons (apologies for the tautology) out there, the title of this story is not a snide comment on some people’s trouble in differentiating ‘l’ and ‘r’ when speaking English (which seems to be a contextual problem and not related to actual pronunciation), but merely a simple play on words with the inference that Miyu’s clock is actually a crock of shite.


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