Qur'an

Qu'ran

Sura 4:82 (Women) "Had it been from other than God, they would surely have found therein much discrepancy." Oh, look (and not very hard), lots of discrepancies!
Hadith 77:597 (Divine Will (Al-Qadar)) " … No child is born but has the Islamic Faith, but its parents turn it into a Jew or a Christian. … " Quite pathetic, really, claiming that everyone is yours by default, but then it's probably the only way you can make yourselves feel superior, and of course it's just not the done thing to ask why you would want to do that, other than to conveniently justify whatever you do and then hurl out the meaningless so-called insult of 'Islamophobia' when anyone dares protest.
Yusuf Ali "The same subject is repeated in different ways and one topic follows the other without any apparent connection. Sometimes a new topic crops up in the middle of another without any apparent reason. The speaker and the addresses, and the direction of the address change without any notice. There is no sign of chapters and divisions anywhere. That is why the unwary reader is baffled and puzzled when he finds all these things contrary to his pre-conceived conception of a book. He begins to feel that the Quran is a book without any order or inter-connection between its continuity of its subject, or that it deal with miscellaneous topics in an incoherent manner." Yes, that's right: it's my fault your book is such a jumbled mess of repetitious ramblings, and it has to be my fault because your God and your book are perfect. Except, of course, they aren't, as shown below and on numerous other websites.
Allahu Akbar! Really? This petty tyrant is so powerful he cannot do a single thing for himself, but needs mere humans to do it for him.

destroy quran?Mohammad's response to any form of criticism and mockery was well known, as can be seen here, where many people were murdered for "causing offence". Doesn't that sound familiar?

Mohammad, being claimed as perfect, is thus deemed to be above criticism (much like the god he should never ever be worshipped as because that's idolatry and very very bad), so now in Spring 2015 a group calling themselves Muslim Action Forum are demanding the rest of the country desist from insulting their holy man, just like the OIC keep on demanding the entire kaffir world stop laughing at them. Apparently, it's not nice for the people who love a dead warlord more than their own living relatives, to see him insulted so, though of course it's all right to carry on taking the piss out of Christ and killing his believers and destroying their churches because he wasn't as important as their beloved Mo (SAW off the heads of unbelievers). MAF's hilarious slogan (tinged with more than a hint of threat of reprisals to come) is "Be Careful With Mohammad", presumably because he's very fragile and breaks at the slightest analysis; certainly, his followers rail violently at the slightest whisper of perceived insult, but then the bigger the bloated balloon the louder the bang when it's pricked.

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The Challenge & The Response

The Qur'an has issued specific challenges for anyone who doubts its claim of its own divine origin to write something like it (not that this amounts to circular reasoning, because it's divine).

Sura 2:23 (The Cow) "And if ye are in doubt as to what we have revealed from time to time to our servant, then produce a sura like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers (If there are any) besides God, if your (doubts) are true."
Sura 10:38 (Jonah) "Or do they say, 'He forged it'? say: 'Bring then a sura like unto it, and call (to your aid) anyone you can besides God, if it be ye speak the truth!'"
Sura 11:13 (Hud) "Or they may say, 'He forged it,' Say, 'Bring ye then ten suras forged, like unto it, and call (to your aid) whomsoever ye can, other than God! - If ye speak the truth!'"
Sura 17:88 (Isra' (The Night Journey, Children Of Israel)) "Say: 'If the whole of mankind and Jinns were to gather together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed up each other with help and support.'"
Sura 52:34 (The Mount) "Let them then produce a recital like unto it, - If (it be) they speak the truth!"

Someone did produce a handful of suras and ayats (chapters and verses), properly, in Arabic, and placed them on a web-site hosted by AOL. In the interests of free exchange of religious ideas and learning, fundamental Muslims shouted "blasphemy" and "I'm offended" and urged their agitators to complain, which they did, vociferously, resulting in AOL deleting the site.

Moderate Muslims and theistic scholars, partly fearing a backlash but mostly interested in accepting the 'new' suras for what they were (they had never been published or displayed as the 'real thing') and debating them, argued for tolerance, but were drowned out by their more militant brethren, who organised angry letters and articles falsely claiming deliberate insult was intended. Did they not know of their own book's challenge, or were they afraid that if a human responded to the challenge and produced something like it then someone might wonder if people had originated the whole thing? No, basically they didn't want their authority and power challenged, and like all dogmatics they were unable to distinguish between the belief and the believer, claiming that analysis / criticism of the former was an automatic affront to the latter.

Thankfully, due to the nature of the WWW, the site had already been copied and was available for a while on a pipex site before moving to its own domain at http://www.suralikeit.com/.

Sura 2:109 (The Cow) "None of Our revelations do We abrogate or cause to be forgotten, but We substitute something better or similar:" To abrogate means to repeal or abolish by authority, which is fair enough, but if it was perfect in the first place why (or better yet, how) could it be substituted by something better or similar?
Sura 6:115 (Cattle / Livestock) " … None can change His words: … "
Sura 16:109 (The Bee) "When We substitute one revelation for another, - and God knows best what He reveals (in stages), - they say, 'Thou art but a forger': but most of them understand not."

'Islam' Means 'Peace'? No, It Means 'Submission'.

Many people claim that "Islam is a religion of peace" for various specious reasons; included in that list is the much-repeated and entrirely wrong statement that it actually means peace. It does not.

The word Islam [ اسلام ] comes from the root SLM [ سلم ], as indeed does the word for peace, Salam [ سلام ], but just because vowels have been added to the root consonants to form a word does not imply the resultant words have the same meaning. It's like saying 'slam' and 'slim' and 'slum' all mean the same because they have the same root of SLM, which is of course utterly silly.

Cosmology

Earth & heaven were created in 6 days… or was it 8?: Sura 7:54 (The Heights) "Your Guardian-Lord is God, Who created the heavens and the earth in six days … "; Sura 10:3 (Jonah) "Verily your Lord is God, who created the heavens and the earth in six days … "; Sura 11:7 (Hud) "He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days … "; Sura 25:29 (The Criterion /The Standard) "He Who created the heavens and the earth and all that is between, in six days … "; Sura 41:9-12 ((Signs) Spelled Out) " … him who created the earth in two days? … he set on the (earth), mountains standing firm, high above it, and bestowed blessings on the earth, and measure therein all things to give them nourishment in due proportion, in four days, … So he completed them as seven firmaments in two days, … " 2 + 4 + 2 = 8. The simplest explanation is that some of the days overlap, but if this book is supposed to be the undeniable word of Allah, you'd think he would have made it a bit clearer. Perhaps he was got distracted by God dictating the various decalogues.; Sura 50:38 (Qaf / The Letter Q) "We created the heavens and the earth and all between them in six days, nor did any sense of weariness touch us."

There are 7 heavens, with the stars being below everything else.: Sura 17:44 (Isra' / The Night Journey / Children Of Israel) "The seven heavens and the earth, and all beings therein, declare His glory: … "; Sura 23:86 (The Believers) " … Who is the Lord of the seven heavens, and the Lord of the Throne (of Glory) Supreme?"; Sura 41:12 ((Signs) Spelled Out) "So He completed them as seven firmaments in two Days, and He assigned to each heaven its duty and command. And We adorned the lower heaven with lights, … "; Sura 65:12 (Divorce) "God is He Who created seven Firmaments and of the earth a similar number. … "; Sura 67:3 (The Sovereignty / Control) "He Who created the seven heavens one above another: … "; Sura 71:15 (Noah) "See ye not how God has created the seven heavens one above another,"; Sura 78:12 (The Tidings / The Announcement) "And (have We not) built over you the seven firmaments,"

There are also 7 earths.: Sura 2:29 (The Cow) " … for He gave order and perfection to the seven firmaments; … "; Sura 41:12 ((Signs) Spelled Out) " … So he completed them as seven firmaments in two days, … "; Sura 65:12 (Divorce) "God is He Who created seven Firmaments and of the earth a similar number. … "; Hadith 54:418 (The Moon) "The Prophet said, "Any person who takes a piece of land unjustly will sink down the seven earths on the Day of Resurrection.""

Over which floats a throne.: Sura 2:255 (The Cow) "His throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, … "; Sura 11:7 (Hud) "He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days - and His Throne was over the waters … "

Is the Earth is 'spread out' and therefore flat?: Sura 13:3 (The Thunder) "And it is He who spread out the earth, and set thereon mountains standing firm … "; Sura 15:19 (Al-Hijr / Stoneland / Stone City) "And the earth We have spread out (like a carpet); set thereon mountains firm and immovable; and produced therein all kinds of things in due balance." How many spherical carpets are there? Also, mountains do move, and it was movement that created them.; Sura 20:53 (Ta-Ha) "He Who has, made for you the earth like a carpet spread out; … "; Sura 43:10 (Ornaments Of Gold (Luxury)) "(Yea, the same that) has made for you the earth (like a carpet) spread out, … "; Sura 50:7 (Qaf / The Letter Q) "And the earth - We have spread it out, and set thereon mountains standing firm, … "; Sura 51:48 (The Winnowing Winds) "And We have spread out the (spacious) earth: How excellently We do spread out!" Excellent, dude!; Sura 55:10 (The Beneficent (The mercy Giving)) "It is He Who has spread out the earth for (His) creatures: … "; Sura 71:19 (Noah) "'And God has made the earth for you as a carpet (spread out),"; Sura 78:7 (The Tidings (The Announcement)) "And the mountains as pegs?" As with 15:19, this states that mountains cannot move.; Sura 79:30-32 (Those Who Drag Forth / Soul-Snatchers) "And the earth, moreover, hath He extended (to a wide expanse); … And the mountains hath He firmly fixed;-"; Sura 88:19-20 (The Overwhelming / The Pall) "And at the Mountains, how they are fixed firm?- And at the Earth, how it is spread out?"

The sun does what?: Sura 18:86-90 (The Cave) "Until, when he reached the setting of the sun, he found it set in a spring of murky water: … Until, when he came to the rising of the sun, he found it rising on a people for whom We had provided no covering protection against the sun."; Hadith 54:421-494 (Beginning Of Creation) "… It goes (i.e. travels) till it prostrates Itself underneath the Throne and takes the permission to rise again, and it is permitted and then (a time will come when) it will be about to prostrate itself but its prostration will not be accepted, and it will ask permission to go on its course but it will not be permitted, but it will be ordered to return whence it has come and so it will rise in the west. And that is the interpretation of the Statement of Allah: "And the sun Runs its fixed course For a term (decreed). that is The Decree of (Allah) The Exalted in Might, The All-Knowing." … the sun rises between two sides of the head of the devil (or Satan). … Another fine example of knowledge from an "all-knowing" deity.

There cannot be any eclipses, and the Sun 'orbits'.: Sura 36:40 (Ya-Sin) "It is not permitted to the Sun to catch up the Moon, nor can the Night outstrip the Day: Each (just) swims along in (its own) orbit (according to Law)." Totally wrong, and disproved by their own astronomers who named numerous stars and recorded astronomical phenomena, including eclipses. This also implies the sun orbits the earth, unless another apologist is going to say they knew the sun moved around our galaxy.

Half-Moon cake.: Sura 54:1 (Beginning Of Creation) "The Hour (of Judgment) is nigh, and the moon is cleft asunder."; Hadith 56:830-832 (Virtues And Merits Of The Prophet And His Companions) " … During the lifetime of the Prophet the moon was split into two parts and on that the Prophet said, 'Bear witness (to thus).' … That the Meccan people requested Allah's Apostle to show them a miracle, and so he showed them the splitting of the moon. … The moon was split into two parts during the lifetime of the Prophet."; Hadith 58:208-211 (Merits Of The Helpers In Madinah (Ansaar) ) " … So he showed them the moon split in two halves between which they saw the Hiram' mountain. … The moon was split ( into two pieces ) while we were with the Prophet in Mina. He said, "Be witnesses." Then a Piece of the moon went towards the mountain. … During the lifetime of Allah's Apostle the moon was split (into two places). … The moon was split (into two pieces)."; Hadith 67:387-391 (Prophetic Commentary On The Qur'an (Tafseer Of The Prophet)) " … During the lifetime of Allah's Apostle the moon was split into two parts; one part remained over the mountain, and the other part went beyond the mountain. … The moon was cleft asunder while we were in the company of the Prophet, and it became two parts. … The moon was cleft asunder during the lifetime of the Prophet … So he showed them (the miracle) of the cleaving of the moon. … The moon was cleft asunder into two parts."

So that's why there are so many stars.: Sura 37:6-7 (Those Who Set The Ranks /Drawn Up In Ranks) "We have indeed decked the lower heaven with beauty (in) the stars, - (For beauty) and for guard against all obstinate rebellious evil spirits,"; Sura 67:5 (The Sovereignty /Control) "And we have, (from of old), adorned the lowest heaven with Lamps, and We have made such (Lamps) (as) missiles to drive away the Evil Ones …" This is obviously correct, otherwise it wouldn't be in the Qur'an, and it's no surprise to learn it conflicts with the Bible's reasoning of why there are stars.

We need to seek permission to pass beyond the confines of the earth.: Sura 55:33 (The Benificent / The Mercy Giving) "O ye assembly of Jinns and men! If it be ye can pass beyond the zones of the heavens and the earth, pass ye! not without authority shall ye be able to pass!" Are NASA and all the other countries who have sent people and satellites into space fully aware they need to seek permission for each launch?

The zodiac.: Sura 15:16-18 (Al Hijr / Stoneland / Rock City) "It is We Who have set out the zodiacal signs in the heavens, and made them fair-seeming to (all) beholders; And (moreover) We have guarded them from every evil spirit accursed: But any that gains a hearing by stealth, is pursued by a flaming fire, bright (to see)." So the stars might be threatened by evil spirits? And which zodiac are you referring to?; Sura 85:1-5 (The Mansions Of The Stars (Constellations)) "By the sky, (displaying) the Zodiacal Signs; By the promised Day (of Judgment); By one that witnesses, and the subject of the witness;- Woe to the makers of the pit (of fire), Fire supplied (abundantly) with fuel:" Oh woe, woe is me!

The earth and sky show emotions & speak.: Sura 33:72 (The Clans / The Coalition / The Combined Forces) "We did indeed offer the Trust to the Heavens and the Earth and the Mountains; but they refused to undertake it, being afraid thereof: but man undertook it; … "; Sura 41:11 ((Signs) Spelled Out) " … He said to it and to the earth: 'Come ye together, willingly or unwillingly.'" They said: '"We do come (together), in willing obedience.'"

Pushed or pulled?: Sura 21:30 (The Prophets) "Do not the Unbelievers see that the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of creation), before we clove them asunder? … "; Sura 41:11 ((Signs) Spelled Out) "Moreover He comprehended in His design the sky, and it had been (as) smoke: He said to it and to the earth: 'Come ye together, willingly or unwillingly.' … "

Earthquakes & affliction come from where?: Hadith 17:147 (Invoking Allah For Rain (Istisqaa)) " … There will appear earthquakes and afflictions, and from there will come out the side of the head of Satan."; Hadith 53:336 (One-Fifth Of Booty To The Cause Of Allah (Khumus)) " … from where the side of the Satan's head comes out (i.e. from the East)."; Hadith 56:714 (Virtues And Merits Of The Prophet And His Companions) " … 'Verily, afflictions (will start) from here,' pointing towards the east, 'whence the side of the head of Satan comes out.'"; Hadith 59:672 (Military Expeditions Led By The Prophet (Al-Maghaazi)) " … afflictions appear from there (the east) from where the side of the head of Satan will appear."; Hadith 63:223 (Divorce) " … and then pointed towards the East, … where the two sides of the head of Satan will appear, … "; Hadith 88:212-214 (Afflictions And The End Of The World) " … and pointed with his finger towards the East) and said, 'Afflictions are there! Afflictions are there, from where the side of the head of Satan comes out, … Afflictions are there, from where the side of the head of Satan comes out. … the place of earthquakes and afflictions and from there comes out the side of the head of Satan."

But good can come from wind too.: Hadith 31:126 (Fasting) " … he used to be more generous than a fast wind (which causes rain and welfare)."; Hadith 54:443 (Beginning Of Creation) " … Allah's Apostle used to become more generous than the fast wind … "; Hadith 56:754 (Virtues And Merits Of The Prophet And His Companions) " … Allah's Apostle then used to be more generous than the fast wind."; Hadith 61:519 (Virtues Of The Qur'an) " … he used to become more generous than the fast wind in doing good."

Well, blow me down!: Hadith 54:427 (Beginning Of Creation) "I have been made victorious with the Saba (i.e. easterly wind) and the people of 'Ad were destroyed with the Dabur (i.e. westerly wind)"

Beware of the mischievious dark.: Sura 113 (The Daybreak (Dawn)) "Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of the Dawn. From the mischief of created things; From the mischief of Darkness as it overspreads; From the mischief of those who practise secret arts; And from the mischief of the envious one as he practises envy."

There were 5 Plagues, or perhaps 9.: Sura 7:133 (The Heights) "So We sent (plagues) on them: Wholesale death, Locusts, Lice, Frogs, And Blood: Signs openly self-explained: but they were steeped in arrogance, - a people given to sin."; Sura 17:101 (Isra' / The Night Journey / Children Of Israel) "To Moses We did give Nine Clear Signs: As the Children of Israel: when he came to them, Pharaoh said to him: "O Moses! I consider thee, indeed, to have been worked upon by sorcery!"; Sura 27: (The Ant / The Ants) "Now put thy hand into thy bosom, and it will come forth white without stain (or harm): (these are) among the nine Signs (thou wilt take) to Pharaoh and his people: for they are a people rebellious in transgression."

A god-day is 1,000 years, but then again it might be 50,000.: Sura 22:47 (The Pilgrimage) "Verily a Day in the sight of thy Lord is like a thousand years of your reckoning."; Sura 32:5 (The Prostration / Worship /Adoration) "… on a Day, the space whereof will be (as) a thousand years of your reckoning."; Sura 70:4 (The Ascending Stairways / Staircases Upward / Sceptic) "The angels and the spirit ascend unto him in a Day the measure whereof is (as) fifty thousand years:"

Natural History

So how do you make a human being?

Clay(cfAruru & Khnum & Nammu & Ptah & Yahweh)
- Sura 6:2 (Cattle / Livestoc)) "He it is created you from clay, … "
- Sura 7:12 (The Heights) " … Thou didst create me from fire, and him from clay."
- Sura 15:26-33 (Al-Hijr / Stoneland / Rock City) "We created man from sounding clay, from mud moulded into shape; … I am about to create man, from sounding clay from mud moulded into shape; … whom Thou didst create from sounding clay, from mud moulded into shape." Sorry, I didn't quite get that: could you repeat it again?
- Sura 17:88 (Isra' / The Night Journey / Children Of Israel) " … Shall I bow down to one whom Thou didst create from clay?"
- Sura 23:12 (The Believers) "Man We did create from a quintessence (of clay);"
- Sura 35:11 (The Angels / Originator) "And God did create you from dust; then from a sperm-drop; … "
- Sura 32:7 (The Prostration / Worship / Adoration) " … He began the creation of man with (nothing more than) clay,"
- Sura 37:11 (Those Who Set The Ranks / Drawn Up In Ranks) " … Them have We created out of a sticky clay!"
- Sura 38:71-76 (Sad / The Letter S) " … I am about to create man from clay: … thou createdst me from fire, and him thou createdst from clay."
- Sura 55: (The Beneficent / The Mercy Giving) "He created man from sounding clay like unto pottery,"
Water
- Sura 25:54 (The Criterion / The Standard) "It is He Who has created man from water: … "
Dust
- Sura 30:20 (The Romans / The Byzantines) "Among His Signs in this, that He created you from dust; … "
Blood
- Sura 96:2 (The Clot / Read!) "Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood:"
None of the above
- Sura 3:47 (The Family Of 'Imran) "God createth what He willeth: When He hath decreed a plan, He but saith to it, 'Be,' and it is!"
Mix 'n' match
- Sura 23:12-14 (The Believers) "Man We did create from a quintessence (of clay); Then We placed him as (a drop of) sperm in a place of rest, firmly fixed; Then We made the sperm into a clot of congealed blood; then of that clot We made a (foetus) lump; then we made out of that lump bones and clothed the bones with flesh; then we developed out of it another creature." A response to this is to claim it is one thing and another, separate mentions of separate 'components', despite each being mentioned in isolation.

Sperm comes from where?: Sura 86:5-7 (The Morning Star / The Nightcomer) "Now let man but think from what he is created! He is created from a drop emitted - Proceeding from between the backbone and the ribs:" Which is where your kidneys are. Brilliant example of biology from an inerrant book. I suppose the fault is in the translation.

He was how tall?: Hadith 55:543 (Prophets) "Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall. … People have been decreasing in stature since Adam's creation."; Hadith 74:246 (Asking Permission) " … Allah created Adam in his complete shape and form (directly), sixty cubits (about 30 meters) in height. … "

Travelling very quickly between non-existent places.: Sura 17:1 (The Night Journey) "Glory to (God) who did take his servant for a journey by night from the sacred mosque [taken as Mecca] to the farthest mosque [taken as Jerusalem], …" A slight problem with this, as there was no mosque in Jerusalem when Mo was alive, and the Dome Of The Rock wasn't built until after his death.

Some youths stay in a cave for rather a long time.: Sura 18:25 (The Cave) "So they stayed in their cave three hundred years, and (some) add nine (more)." For a book that's claimed to be infallible, it can't be 300 or 309, it must be one or the other. So, which is it? [This may be an exaggerated legend of the earlier Christian "seven sleepers" who were walled up in a cave at Ephesus under the Roman emperor Decian (c.250 CE) and awoke a couple of centuries later during the reign of the Christian emperor Theodosius.]

Yawns are Satanic.: Hadith 54:509 (Beginning Of Creation) " … Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him."; Hadith 73:242-245 (Good Manners And Form / Al-Adab) " … But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so one must try one's best to stop it, if one says 'Ha' when yawning, Satan will laugh at him. … But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so if one of you yawns, he should try his best to stop it, for when anyone of you yawns, Satan laughs at him."

Satan is a bogey-man.: Hadith 54:516 (Beginning Of Creation) " … Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night."

Satan pees in your ear: Hadith 21:245 (Prayer At Night (Tahajjud)) " … A person was mentioned before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, 'Satan urinated in his ears.'"; Hadith 54:492 (Beginning Of Creation) " … It was mentioned before the Prophet that there was a man who slept the night till morning (after sunrise). The Prophet said, 'He is a man in whose ears (or ear) Satan had urinated.'"

Donkeys can see Satan.: Hadith 54:522 (Beginning Of Creation) " … And when you hear the braying of donkeys, seek Refuge with Allah from Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan." 'A' Satan? How many are there?

A baby speaks just after it has been born.: Sura 19:29-34 (Mary) "… They said: "How can we talk to one who is a child in the cradle?" He said: "I am indeed a servant of God: … So peace is on me the day I was born, the day that I die, and the day that I shall be raised up to life (again)"! Such (was) Jesus the son of Mary: (it is) a statement of truth, about which they (vainly) dispute." "A statement of truth about which they (vainly) dispute"? Yeah, right.

Clay birds can come to life.: Sura 3:49 (The Family Of 'Imran (The House Of 'Imran)) " … I have come to you, with a Sign from your Lord, in that I make for you out of clay, as it were, the figure of a bird, and breathe into it, and it becomes a bird by God's leave: … "; Sura 5:113 (The Table (The Table Spread))" … thou makest out of clay, as it were, the figure of a bird, by My leave, and thou breathest into it and it becometh a bird by My leave, … "

Open-heart surgery?: Hadith 8:345 (Prayers (Salat)) " … While I was at Mecca the roof of my house was opened and Gabriel descended, opened my chest, and washed it with Zam-zam water. Then he brought a golden tray full of wisdom and faith and having poured its contents into my chest, he closed it. … "; Hadith 54:429 (Beginning Of Creation) "… my body was cut open from the throat to the lower part of the abdomen and then my abdomen was washed with Zam-zam water and (my heart was) filled with wisdom and belief … "; Hadith 93:608 (Oneness, Uniqueness Of Allah, (Tawheed))" … Gabriel cut open (the part of his body) between his throat and the middle of his chest (heart) and took all the material out of his chest and abdomen and then washed it with Zam-Zam water with his own hands till he cleansed the inside of his body, and then a gold tray containing a gold bowl full of belief and wisdom was brought and then Gabriel stuffed his chest and throat blood vessels with it and then closed it (the chest). … " Let me guess, this isn't to be taken literally, but as a metaphor, whereas all the other parts are to be taken literally.

How to prevent angels from visiting.: Hadith 54:448-450 (Beginning Of Creation) "… Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house wherein there is a dog or a picture of a living creature (a human being or an animal) … Once Gabriel promised the Prophet (that he would visit him, but Gabriel did not come) and later on he said, "We, angels, do not enter a house which contains a picture or a dog."; Hadith 72:843 (Dress) " … Gabriel said to him, 'We do not enter a place in which there is a picture or a dog.'"

Talking animals.: Sura 27:18-22 (The Ant / The Ants) "At length, when they came to a (lowly) valley of ants, one of the ants said: 'O ye ants, get into your habitations, lest Solomon and his hosts crush you (under foot) without knowing it.' So he smiled, amused at her speech; … But the Hoopoe tarried not far: he (came up and) said: 'I have compassed (territory) which thou hast not compassed, and I have come to thee from Saba with tidings true.'"; Hadith 39:517 (Agriculture) "The Prophet said, 'While a man was riding a cow, it turned towards him and said, "I have not been created for this purpose (i.e. carrying), I have been created for sloughing.' … The wolf sat on its tail and addressed me, saying, 'Who will look after it (i.e. the sheep) when you will be busy and not able to look after it? Do you forbid me the provision which Allah has provided me?'"

Talking (&Anti-Jewish) stones!: Hadith 52:176-177 (Fighting For The Cause Of Allah (Jihaad)) " … You (i.e. Muslims) will fight with the Jews till some of them will hide behind stones. The stones will (betray them) saying, 'O 'Abdullah (i.e. slave of Allah)! There is a Jew hiding behind me; so kill him.' … The Hour will not be established until you fight with the Jews, and the stone behind which a Jew will be hiding will say. "O Muslim! There is a Jew hiding behind me, so kill him."

All animals & insects live in communities.: Sura 6:38 (Cattle / Livestock) "There is not an animal (that lives) on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but (forms part of) communities like you. … "

Rainwater is pure.: Sura 25:48-49 (The Criterion / The Standar)) " … We send down pure water from the sky, That with it We may give life to a dead land, and slake the thirst of things We have created … "

Monkeys have laws.: Hadith 58:188 (Merits Of The Helpers In Madinah / Ansaar) "… During the pre-lslamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them."

Flies can cure diseases.: Hadith 54:537 (Beginning Of Creation) "… If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."

Milk comes from where? (Oh, and blood isn't throughout the body, but a specific location like the heart.): Sura 16:66 (The Bee) "… From what is within their bodies between excretions and blood, We produce, for your drink, milk, pure and agreeable to those who drink it."

Honey comes from a bee's body.: Sure 16:69 (The Bee) "… there issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colours, wherein is healing for men: verily in this is a Sign for those who give thought."

Intolerance & Cruelty

Sura 3:85 (The Family Of 'Imran / The House Of 'Imran) "If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (submission to God), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter He will be in the ranks of those who have lost (All spiritual good)."
Sura 4:74-102 (Women) "Let those fight in the cause of God Who sell the life of this world for the hereafter. To him who fighteth in the cause of God , - whether he is slain or gets victory - Soon shall We give him a reward of great (value). … Those who believe fight in the cause of God, and those who reject Faith Fight in the cause of Evil: So fight ye against the friends of Satan: feeble indeed is the cunning of Satan. … God hath granted a grade higher to those who strive and fight with their goods and persons than to those who sit (at home). Unto all (in Faith) Hath God promised good: But those who strive and fight Hath He distinguished above those who sit (at home) by a special reward, … Taking all precaution, and bearing arms: the Unbelievers wish, if ye were negligent of your arms and your baggage, to assault you in a single rush. … " Wow, all those unbelievers with nothing else to do except assault you. Talk about paranoia.
Sure 5:35 (The Table / The Table Spread) " … We ordained for the Children of Israel that if any one slew a person - unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land - it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people. … " NOTE: this is the most misquoted part of the whole book (sorry, 'revelation'), but those doing so conveniently omit the beginning where it's clear that only Jews are being addressed; that is, if a Jew kills a Muslim it's as if they (the Jew) had killed 'the whole people' (humanity or just the local tribe?). Then come all the threats:
Sura 5:36-54 (The Table / The Table Spread) "The punishment of those who wage war against God and His Apostle, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: … As to the thief, Male or female, cut off his or her hands: a punishment by way of example, from God, for their crime: and God is Exalted in power. But if the thief repents after his crime, and amends his conduct, God turneth to him in forgiveness; for God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. … O ye who believe! take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors: … " All right, I'm sorry, can I have my hands back now?
Sura 8:12-22 (Spoils Of War / Booty) " … I will instil terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them. … For the worst of beasts in the sight of God are the deaf and the dumb,- those who understand not."
Sura 9:5-123 (Repentance / Dispensation) "… then fight and slay the pagans wherever ye find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war); … Truly the Pagans are unclean; … Fight those who believe not in God nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by God and His Apostle, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued. Jizya is a tax levied against non-Muslims living under their Muslim rulers who do not of course in any way discriminate by levying the tax, which is n othing more than 'protection' money. … O ye who believe! what is the matter with you, that, when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of God, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the hereafter. Unless ye go forth, he will punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your place; … A win-win situation - kill the unbelievers and if you die in the process, you go to heaven. … strive hard against the unbelievers and the Hypocrites, and be firm against them. … God hath purchased of the believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the garden (of Paradise): they fight in His cause, and slay and are slain: a promise binding on Him in truth, through the Law, the Gospel, and the Qur'an: … O ye who believe! fight the unbelievers who gird you about, and let them find firmness in you: and know that God is with those who fear Him"
Sura 25:52 (The Criterion / The Standard) "Therefore listen not to the Unbelievers, but strive against them with the utmost strenuousness, with the (Qur'an)."
Sura 33:64-73 (The Clans / The Coalition / The Combined Forces) " … God has to punish the Hypocrites, men and women, and the Unbelievers, men and women, … "
Sura 47:4-8 (Muhammad) "Therefore, when ye meet the unbelievers (in fight), smite at their necks; … But those who reject (God),- for them is destruction, and (God) will render their deeds astray (from their mark)."
Sura 66:9 (Banning / Prohibition) " … Strive hard against the Unbelievers and the Hypocrites, and be firm against them. … "
Sura 111:3-5 (Palm Fibre / The Flame) "Burnt soon will he be in a fire of blazing flame! His wife shall carry the (crackling) wood - as fuel!- A twisted rope of palm-leaf fibre round her (own) neck!" What did they do? This poor man and his wife have been forever cursed in a book that claims divine authorship.

Hadith 4:234 (Ablutions / Wudu') " … 'He then ordered to cut their hands and feet (and it was done), and their eyes were branded with heated pieces of iron, They were put in "Al-Harra" and when they asked for water, no water was given to them.' Abu Qilaba said, 'Those people committed theft and murder, became infidels after embracing Islam and fought against Allah and His Apostle.'"
Hadith 52:41-73 (Fighting For The Cause Of Allah (Jihaad)) "… I further asked, 'what is next in goodness?' He replied, 'To participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause.' … Know that paradise is under the shades of swords."
Hadith 52:53 (Fighting For The Cause Of Allah (Jihaad)) "Nobody who dies and finds good from Allah (in the Hereafter) would wish to come back to this world even if he were given the whole world and whatever is in it, except the martyr who, on seeing the superiority of martyrdom, would like to come back to the world and get killed again (in Allah's Cause)."
Hadith 52:73 (Fighting For The Cause Of Allah (Jihaad)) "Allah's Apostle said, 'Know that Paradise is under the shades of swords.'"
Hadith 59:505 (Military Expeditions Led By The Prophet / Al-Maghaazi) " … When this news reached the Prophet, he sent some people in pursuit of them. (So they were caught and brought back to the Prophet ). The Prophet gave his orders in their concern. So their eyes were branded with pieces of iron and their hands and legs were cut off and they were left away in Harra till they died in that state of theirs."
Hadith 71:623 (Medicine) " … When this news reached the Prophet he sent in their pursuit (and they were caught and brought). The Prophet ordered that their eyes be branded with heated iron bars and their hands be cut off, and they were left at Al-Harra till they died in that state."
Hadith 82:794-7 (Punishment of Disbelievers at War with Allah and His Apostle) " … The Prophet sent (some people) in their pursuit and so they were (caught and) brought, and the Prophets ordered that their hands and legs should be cut off and that their eyes should be branded with heated pieces of iron, and that their cut hands and legs should not be cauterized, till they die. … The Prophet cut off the hands and feet of the men belonging to the tribe of 'Uraina and did not cauterise (their bleeding limbs) till they died. … he sent some men in their pursuit, and they were captured and brought before mid day. The Prophet ordered for some iron pieces to be made red hot, and their eyes were branded with them and their hands and feet were cut off and were not cauterized. Then they were put at a place called Al-Harra, and when they asked for water to drink they were not given till they died. … This news reached the Prophet early in the morning, so he sent (some) men in their pursuit and they were captured and brought to the Prophet before midday. He ordered to cut off their hands and legs and their eyes to be branded with heated iron pieces and they were thrown at Al-Harra, and when they asked for water to drink, they were not given water. … " Sheesh! The same story three times in four verses. (cf 4:234, 59:505, 71:623, & 83:37)
Hadith 83:37 (Blood Money / Ad-Diyat) " … so he sent (men) to follow their traces and they were captured and brought (to the Prophet). He then ordered to cut their hands and feet, and their eyes were branded with heated pieces of iron, and then he threw them in the sun till they died. … "
Hadith 84:57-64 (Dealing With Apostates) "Some Zanadiqa (atheists) were brought to 'Ali and he burnt them. The news of this event, reached Ibn 'abbas who said, 'If I had been in his place, I would not have burnt them, as Allah's apostle forbade it, saying, 'Do not punish anybody with Allah's punishment (fire).' I would have killed them according to the statement of Allah's apostle, 'Whoever changed his islamic religion, then kill him.' … During the last days there will appear some young foolish people who will say the best words but their faith will not go beyond their throats (i.e. they will have no faith) and will go out from (leave) their religion as an arrow goes out of the game. So, where-ever you find them, kill them, for who-ever kills them shall have reward on the Day of Resurrection.'" Unwilling to distinguish between those of another religion and those who have none, because all that really matters is whether they're Muslim or not.

Slavery

Sura 4:3 (Women) "… if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, …"
Sura 8:67 (Spoils Of War / Booty) "It is not fitting for an apostle that he should have prisoners of war until he hath thoroughly subdued the land. … "
Sura 16:75 (The Bee) "God sets forth the parable (of two men: one) a slave under the dominion of another; … "
Sura 23:6 (The Believers) "Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess, … "
Sura 24:31 (Light) " … or the slaves whom their right hands possess, … "
Sura 70:30 (The Ascending Stairways) "Except with their wives and the (captives) whom their right hands possess, … "

Hadith 34:420 (Sales And Trade) " … Allah humiliated the pagan and gave us a slavegirl for service."
Hadith 54:514 (Beginning Of Creation) " … If one says one-hundred times in one day: "None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Alone Who has no partners, to Him belongs Dominion and to Him belong all the Praises, and He has power over all things (i.e. Omnipotent)", one will get the reward of manumitting ten slaves, … "
Hadith 75:397-412 (Invocations) " … Whoever says: 'La ilaha illal-lah wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahu-l-mulk wa lahu-l-hamd wa huwa 'ala kulli shai'in qadir,' one hundred times will get the same reward as given for manumitting ten slaves; … "

Misogyny According to Yvonne Ridley, "It's a Magna Carta for women!"

Sura 2:222-223 (The Cow) " … They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. … Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; … Let his guardian dictate faithfully, and get two witnesses, out of your own men, and if there are not two men, then a man and two women, such as ye choose, for witnesses, so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her. …" Sorry, I'm confused : remind me what he said.
Sura 4:3-34 (Women) "If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. … to the male, a portion equal to that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two-thirds of the inheritance; if only one, her share is a half." … If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, Take the evidence of four (reliable) witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine them to houses until death do claim them, or God ordain for them some (other) way. … Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what God would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); … " Oh, but lightly, of course (the word isn't in the original and only added in translation), because I'm so weak and fragile and can't live without your beneficent protection.
Sura 24:31 (Light) "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands posses s, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments … "
Sura 33:3 (The Clans) "… And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, … It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (as handmaidens): … "

Hadith 6:301 (Menstrual Periods) "I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. … Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man? … This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses? … his is the deficiency in her religion."
Hadith 48:826 (Witnesses) "The Prophet said, 'Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?' The women said, 'Yes.' He said, 'This is because of the deficiency of a woman's mind.'" Ooh, ga-ga!
Hadith 62:121 (Wedlock, Marriage / Nikaah) "If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning."

Virgin whores await men in heaven with a 1 in 3 chance they will be women, as the other two suras don't specify gender.

Sura 37:48 (Those Who Set The Ranks / Drawn Up In Ranks) "And besides them will be chaste women, restraining their glances, with big eyes (of wonder and beauty). As if they were (delicate) eggs closely guarded. Then they will turn to one another and question one another. One of them will start the talk and say: "I had an intimate companion (on the earth),"
Sura 52:20 (The Mount) "They will recline (with ease) on thrones (of dignity) arranged in ranks; and we shall join them to companions, with beautiful big and lustrous eyes."
Sura 56:35-38 (The Event) "We have created (their companions) of special creation And made them virgin - pure (and undefiled), Beloved (by nature), equal in age, - For the companions of the right hand."

Traditional & Other Sayings

Women, dogs, and donkeys annul a man's prayer. [Mo himself, according to Musnad Ibn Hanbal] So pigs are OK? Yay for them!
A woman's heaven is beneath her husband's feet.
A Woman may be likened to a sheep – even a cow or a camel – for all are ridden. [al-Qurtubi, Tafsir]
Women should be exposed to the daylight three times in their lives. When they are born, when they are married and when they die.
Beware of the evils of women. Be on your guard even from them who are (reportedly) good. Do not obey them even in good things so that they may not attract you to evils. [Ali, 4'th successor of Mohammed]

Lies & Deception & Hypocrisy

Beware of new things, for every new thing is an innovation and every innovation a mistake.

Sura 2:106-284 (The Cow) "None of our revelations do we abrogate or cause to be forgotten, but we substitute something better or similar. Knowest thou not that God hath power over all things? … He forgiveth whom He pleaseth, and punisheth whom He pleaseth, for God hath power over all things." If it cannot be forgotten, why amend or change it, or wasn't it right the first time? (What happens when there is conflict between two commands - interpret.)
Sura 5:20-43 (The Table / The Table Spread) " … He forgiveth whom He pleaseth, and He punisheth whom He pleaseth: and to God belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and all that is between: … Knowest thou not that to God (alone) belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth? He punisheth whom He pleaseth, and He forgiveth whom He pleaseth: and God hath power over all things."
Sura 7:137 (The Heights) " … and We levelled to the ground the great works and fine buildings which Pharaoh and his people erected (with such pride)" The slight problem with this being that, amongst other things, the pyramids and major temples are still here; more Egyptian monuments have been destroyed in the last century than in the previous five millennia.
Sura 14:3-4 (Abraham) "Those who love the life of this world more than the hereafter, who hinder (men) from the path of God and seek therein something crooked: they are astray by a long distance." Just like xianity, preaching that everything will be all right in the next life, so don't bother with this one. "We sent not an apostle except (to teach) in the language of his (own) people, in order to make (things) clear to them. Now God leaves straying those whom he pleases and guides whom he pleases: and he is exalted in power, full of wisdom."" And this is a God that can be trusted? Who said anything about trust? Fear and worship are all that count.
Sura 17:97 (Isra' / The Night Journey / Children Of Israel) "It is he whom God guides, that is on true Guidance; but he whom He leaves astray - for such wilt thou find no protector besides Him. … "
Sura 74:26-31 (The Cloaked One / The Man Wearing A Cloak) " … Thus doth God leave to stray whom He pleaseth, … " Not that he's a sadist, oh no, he's just being a God.

Hadith 41:573 (Loans / Payment Of Loans / Freezing Of Property / Bankruptcy) " … Gabriel came and said to me, 'Whoever amongst your followers dies, worshipping none along with Allah, will enter Paradise.' I said, 'Even if he did such-and-such things (i.e. even if he stole or committed illegal sexual intercourse)' He said, 'Yes.'" All that matters is worshipping Allah. Do whatever else you want and you always go to heaven. (cf 54:445, 74:285, 76:450, 76:451, 93:579)
Hadith 54:445 (Beginning Of Creation) " … Gabriel said to me, 'Whoever amongst your followers die without having worshipped others besides Allah, will enter Paradise (or will not enter the (Hell) Fire)." The Prophet asked. 'Even if he has committed illegal sexual intercourse or theft?' He replied, 'Even then.'"
Hadith 60:64 (Prophetic Commentary On The Qur'an / Tafseer Of The Prophet) " … Allah sends him Satan whereupon he commits sins till all his good deeds are lost. … " Even if you do good deeds, the 'all merciful' Allah will undo them, so why bother?
Hadith 73:171-174 (Good Manners & Form) "Hassan bin hhabit asked the permission of Allah's apostle to lampoon the pagans (in verse). Allah's apostle said, 'What about my fore-fathers (ancestry)?' Hassan said (to the prophet) 'I will take you out of them as a hair is taken out of dough.'" … The prophet said to hassan, 'Lampoon them (the pagans) in verse, and Gabriel is with you.'" Parody other people's religion and censor your own history, but when someone does the same to you, scream "blasphemy!" and slam a fatwa on them.
Hadith 74:285 (Asking Permission) " … That was Gabriel who came to me and informed me that whoever among my followers died without joining others in worship with Allah, would enter Paradise.' I said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Even if he had committed illegal sexual intercourse and theft?' He said, 'Even if he had committed illegal sexual intercourse and theft … "
Hadith 76:450-451 (To Make The Heart Tender / Ar-Riqaq) " … It was Gabriel who appeared to me beside Al-Harra and said, 'Give the good news to your followers that whoever dies without having worshipped anything besides Allah, will enter Paradise.' I said, 'O Gabriel! Even if he had committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Even if he has committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Even if he has committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, 'Yes.' … It was Gabriel who came to me and said, 'Whoever died without joining others in worship with Allah, will enter Paradise.' I asked (Gabriel), 'Even if he had committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse? Gabriel said, 'Yes, even if he had committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse.' … so I asked Gabriel, "Are these people my followers?' … Gabriel said. 'Those are your followers, and those are seventy thousand … I asked, 'What is this, O Gabriel?' … "
Hadith 93:579 (Oneness, Uniqueness Of Allah / Tawheed) " … Gabriel came to me and gave me the glad tidings that anyone who died without worshipping anything besides Allah, would enter Paradise. I asked (Gabriel), 'Even if he committed theft, and even if he committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, '(Yes), even if he committed theft, and even if he Committed illegal sexual intercourse. … "

Wine is Satan's work, but available in paradise.

Sura 2:219 (The Cow) "They ask thee concerning wine and gambling. Say: 'In them is great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit.' … "
Sura 5:93 (The Table / The Table Spread) "O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan's handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper."
Sura 47:15 (Muhammad) "(Here is) a Parable of the Garden which the righteous are promised: in it are rivers of water incorruptible; rivers of milk of which the taste never changes; rivers of wine, a joy to those who drink; and rivers of honey pure and clear. … "
Sura 76:5-6 (Time / Man (Every) Man / This (Day And) Age) "As to the Righteous, they shall drink of a Cup (of Wine) mixed with Kafur,- 76:6 A Fountain where the Devotees of God do drink, making it flow in unstinted abundance."
Sura 83:21-25 (Defrauding / The Cheats / Cheating) "Truly the Righteous will be in Bliss: … Their thirst will be slaked with Pure Wine sealed:"

Predestination Why bother trying to do anything if your creator has already charted your life? This is also the best justification for immoral behaviour, because whatever you do is only done because it's already been decreed that is what you shall do - you have no control over it because it's your pre-determined destiny : God's desires rather than your personal responsibility. Also, any good you may try and do is pointless because God has already decided that you're going to hell anyway. But remember, he is "full of loving-kindness", so that's all right then.

Sura 57:22 (Iron) "No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before we bring it into existence: … "
Hadith 6:315 (Menstrual Periods) " … At every womb Allah appoints an angel who says, 'O Lord! A drop of semen, O Lord! A clot. O Lord! A little lump of flesh." Then if Allah wishes (to complete) its creation, the angel asks, (O Lord!) Will it be a male or female, a wretched or a blessed, and how much will his provision be? And what will his age be?' So all that is written while the child is still in the mother's womb."
Hadith 55:550 (Prophets) " … Allah has appointed an angel in the womb, and the angel says, 'O Lord! A drop of discharge (i.e. of semen), O Lord! a clot, O Lord! a piece of flesh.' And then, if Allah wishes to complete the child's creation, the angel will say. 'O Lord! A male or a female? O Lord! wretched or blessed (in religion)? What will his livelihood be? What will his age be?' The angel writes all this while the child is in the womb of its mother."
Hadith 60:62 (Prophetic Commentary On The Qur'an / Tafseer Of The Prophet) " … Allah sends him Satan whereupon he commits sins till all his good deeds are lost. … " Even if you do good, that " full of loving-kindness" God undoes it all, so why bother?
Hadith 77:594 (Divine Will / Al-Qadar) " … Allah puts an angel in charge of the uterus and the angel says, 'O Lord, (it is) semen! O Lord, (it is now ) a clot! O Lord, (it is now) a piece of flesh.' And then, if Allah wishes to complete its creation, the angel asks, 'O Lord, (will it be) a male or a female? A wretched (an evil doer) or a blessed (doer of good)? How much will his provisions be? What will his age be?' So all that is written while the creature is still in the mother's womb."

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of… Crickets?

Sura 31:21 (Luqman) "But there are, among men, those who purchase idle tales, without knowledge (or meaning), to mislead (men) from the Path of God and throw ridicule (on the Path): for such there will be a Humiliating Penalty." "idle tales" might infer gossip and rumour, but Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood swore it meant singing.

Hadith 15:72 (The Two Festivals (Eids)) " … Musical instruments of Satan in the house of Allah's Apostle! …"
Hadith 58:268 (Merits Of The Helpers In Madinah (Ansaar)) " … Musical instrument of Satan! … "
Hadith 69:494 (Drinks) " … From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful. … Allah will destroy them during the night and will let the mountain fall on them, and He will transform the rest of them into monkeys and pigs and they will remain so till the Day of Resurrection."

Picture This, A Day In Decem… No! No Music! Or Pictures Of Living Things

More mind-numbing repetition of the same few stories, never mind the fact that no one bothers explaining precisely why angels don't like dogs or pictures. Do they have the same primitive superstition as the writers of this rubbish that a representation of something either captures its 'soul' or is trying to create a copy if it (hence the challenge to make it 'alive')?

Hadith 8:371 (Prayers (Salat)) " … 'Aisha had a Qiram (a thin marked woolen curtain) with which he had screened one side of her home. The Prophet said, 'Take away this Qiram of yours, as its pictures are still displayed in front of me during my prayer (i.e. they divert my attention from the prayer).'"
Hadith 8:419 (Prayers (Salat)) " … If any religious man dies amongst those people they would build a place of worship at his grave and make these pictures in it. They will be the worst creature in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection."
Hadith 23:425 (Funerals (Al-Janaa'iz)) " … Those are the people who, whenever a pious man dies amongst them, make a place of worship at his grave and then they make those pictures in it. Those are the worst creatures in the Sight of Allah."
Hadith 34:299-440 (Sales And Trade) " … and also forbade the profession of tattooing, getting tattooed … and cursed the picture-makers. … The painters (i.e. owners) of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection. It will be said to them, 'Put life in what you have created (i.e. painted).' The Prophet added, 'The angels do not enter a house where there are pictures.' … Whoever makes a picture will be punished by Allah till he puts life in it, and he will never be able to put life in it. … If you insist on making pictures I advise you to make pictures of trees and any other unanimated objects. … he cursed her who tattoos and her who gets tattooed, … and the maker of pictures."
Hadith 43:659 (Oppressions) " … Aisha said that she hung a curtain decorated with pictures (of animates) on a cupboard. The Prophet tore that curtain and she turned it into two cushions … "
Hadith 54:447-539 (Beginning Of Creation) " … Don't you know that angels do not enter a house wherein there are pictures; and whoever makes a picture will be punished on the Day of Resurrection and will be asked to give life to (what he has created)? … Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house wherein there is a dog or a picture of a living creature (a human being or an animal). … The Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house wherein there is a picture. … Once Gabriel promised the Prophet (that he would visit him, but Gabriel did not come) and later on he said, 'We, angels, do not enter a house which contains a picture or a dog.' … Angels do not enter a house which has either a dog or a picture in it."
Hadith 55:570-571 (Prophets) " … They have already heard that angels do not enter a house in which there are pictures; yet this is the picture of Abraham. And why is he depicted as practicing divination by arrows? … When the Prophet saw pictures in the Ka'ba, he did not enter it till he ordered them to be erased. … "
Hadith 58:213-235 (Merits Of The Helpers In Madinah (Ansaar)) " … Those people are such that if a pious man amongst them died, they build a place of worship over his grave and paint these pictures in it. Those people will be Allah's worst creatures on the Day of Resurrection. … You have been shown to me twice in my dream. I saw you pictured on a piece of silk and some-one said (to me). 'This is your wife.' When I uncovered the picture, I saw that it was yours. I said, 'If this is from Allah, it will be done."
Hadith 59:338 (Military Expeditions Led By The Prophet (Al-Maghaazi)) " … Angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture" He meant the images of creatures that have souls."
Hadith 62:110 (Wedlock, Marriage (Nikaah)) " … The makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, 'Give life to what you have created (i.e., these pictures).' … The Angels of (Mercy) do not enter a house in which there are pictures (of animals)."
Hadith 63:259 (Divorce) " … The Prophet cursed the lady who practices tattooing and the one who gets herself tattooed, … and cursed the makers of pictures."
Hadith 72:833-846 (Dress) " … Angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or there are pictures. … The people who will receive the severest punishment from Allah will be the picture makers. … Those who make these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them. 'Make alive what you have created.' … I never used to leave in the Prophet house anything carrying images or crosses but he obliterated it. … Who would be more unjust than the one who tries to create the like of My creatures? Let them create a grain: let them create a gnat. … The people who will receive the severest punishment on the Day of Resurrection will be those who try to make the like of Allah's creations … The Prophet returned from a journey when I had hung a thick curtain having pictures (in front of a door). He ordered me to remove it and I removed it. … makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said to them, 'Make alive what you have created.' Moreover, the angels do not enter a house where there are pictures.' … Angels (of mercy) do not enter a house where there are pictures … Remove it from my sight, for its pictures are still coming to my mind in my prayers. … Once Gabriel promised to visit the Prophet but he delayed and the Prophet got worried about that. At last he came out and found Gabriel and complained to him of his grief (for his delay). Gabriel said to him, 'We do not enter a place in which there is a picture or a dog.' … The makers of these pictures will be punished (severely) on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said to them, 'Make alive what you have created.' He added, 'Angels do not enter a house in which there are pictures.' … The Prophet … cursed the … lady who tattooed others or got herself tattooed, and the picture-maker. … Whoever makes a picture in this world will be asked to put life into it on the Day of Resurrection, but he will not be able to do so."
Hadith 73:130 (Good Manners And Form (Al-Adab)) " … Such people as paint these pictures will receive the severest punishment on the Day of Resurrection ."
Hadith 87:165 (Interpretation Of Dreams) " … and whoever makes a picture, will be punished on the Day of Resurrection and will be ordered to put a soul in that picture, which he will not be able to do."
Hadith 93:646-647 (Oneness, Uniqueness Of Allah (Tawheed)) " … The painter of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, 'Make alive what you have created.' … The painters of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, 'Make alive what you have created.'"

Go To Hell

Considering how short this book is, the Qur'an is obsessed with hell as a punishment for anyone who doesn't submit. The quotes below only demonstrate how even more frightened than the xians they are of anyone who doesn't accept their ways (conform, or else!), hence all the threats of what will happen to those who reject the 'truth' or don't do what they're told. Remember, folks : Don't step on the cracks in the pavement, or the bogey-man will eat you at the corner. Scary, huh?

Sura 2:24-275 (The Cow) " … then fear the Fire whose fuel is men and stones, - which is prepared for those who reject Faith. … But those who reject Faith and belie Our Signs, they shall be companions of the Fire; they shall abide therein. … they are companions of the Fire: Therein shall they abide (for ever). … no question shall be asked of the Companions of the Blazing Fire. … and such as reject Faith, - for a while will I grant them their pleasure, but will soon drive them to the torment of Fire, - an evil destination (indeed)! … Nor will there be a way for them out of the Fire. … and defend us from the torment of the Fire! … And if any of you turn back from their faith and die in unbelief, … they will be companions of the Fire and will abide therein. … Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. … Of those who reject faith the patrons are the evil ones: … They will be companions of the fire, to dwell therein (for ever). … but those who repeat (the offence) are companions of the Fire: They will abide therein (for ever)."
Sura 3:10-191 (The Family Of 'Imran / The House Of 'Imran) "Those who reject Faith, … They are themselves but fuel for the Fire. … save us from the agony of the Fire; … The Fire shall not touch us but for a few numbered days … and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, … Those who reject Faith, - neither their possessions nor their (numerous) progeny will avail them aught against God: They will be companions of the Fire, - dwelling therein (for ever). … Fear the Fire, which is repaired for those who reject Faith: … Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with God, for which He had sent no authority: their abode will be the Fire:… Give us salvation from the penalty of the Fire."
Sura 4:10-145 (Women) " … They will soon be enduring a Blazing Fire! … But those who disobey God and his apostle and transgress his limits will be admitted to a fire, … If any do that in rancour and injustice, - soon shall We cast them into the Fire: … and some of them averted their faces from him: And enough is Hell for a burning fire. … Those who reject our Signs, We shall soon cast into the Fire: as often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the penalty: for God is Exalted in Power, Wise. … The Hypocrites will be in the lowest depths of the Fire: … "
Sura 5:11-89 (The Table / The Table Spread) "Those who reject faith and deny our signs will be companions of Hell-fire. … As to those who reject Faith , - … Their wish will be to get out of the Fire, but never will they get out therefrom: … But those who reject Faith and belie our Signs, - they shall be companions of Hell-fire."
Sura 6:27-128 (Cattle / Livestock) "If thou couldst but see when they are confronted with the Fire! They will say: "Would that we were but sent back! Then would we not reject the signs of our Lord, … The Fire be your dwelling-place: you will dwell therein for ever, except as God willeth. … "
Sura 7:36-179 (The Heights) "But those who reject Our signs and treat them with arrogance, - they are companions of the Fire, … Enter ye in the company of the peoples who passed away before you - men and jinns, - into the Fire. … until they follow each other, all into the Fire. … so give them a double penalty in the Fire. … The Companions of the Garden will call out to the Companions of the Fire: … When their eyes shall be turned towards the Companions of the Fire, … The Companions of the Fire will call to the Companions of the Garden: … Many are the Jinns and men we have made for Hell: … " The last verse says again that God is deciding who he is going to reject and send to hell, so what's the point in trying to do any good if that's where you are bound regardless of what you do?
Sura 8:14-36 (Spoils Of Ware / Booty) " … for those who resist God, is the penalty of the Fire. … and his abode is Hell,- an evil refuge (indeed)! … and the Unbelievers will be gathered together to Hell; … Taste the penalty of the blazing Fire … "
Sura 9:17-113 (Repentance / Dispensation) " … The works of such bear no fruit: In Fire shall they dwell. … On the Day when heat will be produced out of that (wealth) in the fire of Hell, and with it will be branded their foreheads, their flanks, and their backs, their flanks, and their backs. … and indeed Hell surrounds the Unbelievers (on all sides). … Know they not that for those who oppose God and His Apostle, is the Fire of Hell? … God hath promised the Hypocrites men and women, and the rejecters, of Faith, the fire of Hell: Therein shall they dwell: … strive hard against the unbelievers and the Hypocrites, and be firm against them. Their abode is Hell,- an evil refuge indeed. … For they are an abomination, and Hell is their dwelling-place,-a fitting recompense for the (evil) that they did. … and it doth crumble to pieces with him, into the fire of Hell. … It is not fitting, for the Prophet and those who believe, that they should pray for forgiveness for Pagans, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire."
Sura 10:8-27 (Jonah) " … Their abode is the Fire, because of the (evil) they earned. … Their faces will be covered, as it were, with pieces from the depth of the darkness of night : they are companions of the Fire: they will abide therein (for aye)!"
Sura 11:16-119 (Hud) "They are those for whom there is nothing in the Hereafter but the Fire: … but those of the Sects that reject it, - the Fire will be their promised meeting-place. … He will go before his people on the Day of Judgment, and lead them into the Fire (as cattle are led to water): … Those who are wretched shall be in the Fire: … And incline not to those who do wrong, or the Fire will seize you; … and for this did He create them: and the Word of thy Lord shall be fulfilled: 'I will fill Hell with jinns and men all together.'" A "merciful" God has created people and jinns specifically to be sent hell.
Sura 13:5-35 (The Thunder) "They are those who deny their Lord! They are those round whose necks will be yokes (of servitude): they will be Companions of the Fire, to dwell therein (for aye)! … and the end of Unbelievers in the Fire."
Sura 14:16-50 (Abraham) "In front of such a one is Hell, and he is given, for drink, boiling fetid water. In gulps will he sip it, but never will he be near swallowing it down his throat: death will come to him from every quarter, yet will he not die: and in front of him will be a chastisement unrelenting. … And thou wilt see the sinners that day bound together in fetters; Their garments of liquid pitch, and their faces covered with Fire;"
Sura 16:62 (The Bee) " … their tongues assert the falsehood that all good things are for themselves: without doubt for them is the Fire, … "
Sura 17:97 (Isra' / The Night Journey / Children Of Israel) " … We shall gather, them together, prone on their faces, blind, dumb, and deaf: their abode will be Hell: every time it shows abatement, We shall increase from them the fierceness of the Fire."
Sura 18:29-106 (The Cave) "… who will, reject (it): for the wrong-doers We have prepared a Fire whose (smoke and flames), like the walls and roof of a tent, will hem them in: if they implore relief they will be granted water like melted brass, that will scald their faces, how dreadful the drink! … And the Sinful shall see the fire and apprehend that they have to fall therein: … And We shall present Hell that day for Unbelievers to see, … Verily we have prepared hell for the unbelievers for (their) entertainment. … That is their reward, hell, because they rejected faith, … "
Sura 19:86 (Mary) "And We shall drive the sinners to Hell, … "
Sura 20:74 (Ta-Ha) " … for him is Hell: therein shall he neither die nor live."
Sura 21:39-100 (The Prophets) "If only the Unbelievers knew (the time) when they will not be able to ward off the fire from their faces, … Verily ye, (unbelievers), … are (but) fuel for Hell! … "
Sura 22:4-72 (The Pilgrimage) " … and he will guide him to the Penalty of the Fire. … and on the Day of Judgment We shall make him taste the Penalty of burning (Fire). … But those who deny (their Lord), - for them will be cut out a garment of Fire: over their heads will be poured out boiling water. … those who strive against Our Signs, to frustrate them, - they will be Companions of the Fire. … It is the Fire (of Hell)! God has promised it to the Unbelievers! and evil is that destination!"
Sura 23:103-104 (The Believers) "… those who have lost their souls, in Hell will they abide. The Fire will burn their faces, … "
Sura 24:57 (Light) "Never think thou that the Unbelievers are going to frustrate (God's Plan) on earth: their abode is the Fire, - and it is indeed an evil refuge!"
Sura 25:11 (The Criterion / The Standard) " … but We have prepared a blazing fire for such as deny the hour: … "
Sura 26:91-94 (The Poets) "And to those straying in Evil, the Fire will be placed in full view; … Then they will be thrown headlong into the (Fire), - they and those straying in Evil,"
Sura 27:90 (The Ant / The Ants) "And if any do evil, their faces will be thrown headlong into the Fire: … "
Sura 28:41 (The Story / Stories) "And we made them (but) leaders inviting to the Fire; … "
Sura 29:25-68 (The Spider) " … on the Day of Judgment ye shall disown each other and curse each other: and your abode will be the Fire, … Hell will encompass the Rejecters of Faith!- … Is there not a home in Hell for those who reject Faith?"
Sura 31:21 (Luqman) " … even if it is Satan beckoning them to the Penalty of the (Blazing) Fire?"
Sura 32:13-21 (The Prostration / Worship / Adoration) "If We had so willed, We could certainly have brought every soul its true guidance: but the Word from Me will come true, 'I will fill Hell with Jinns and men all together.' … As to those who are rebellious and wicked, their abode will be the Fire: … Taste ye the Penalty of the Fire, the which ye were wont to reject as false." God admits that he could have guided souls truly, but as he is "oft-forgiving, full of loving-kindness" God, and "the lord of forgiveness", he wants to fill hell with the "jinns and men all together", and if you reject any of this you go to hell anyway.
Sura 33:64-73 (The Clans / The Coalition / The Combined Forces) "Verily God has cursed the Unbelievers and prepared for them a Blazing Fire, … The Day that their faces will be turned upside down in the Fire, … God has to punish the Hypocrites, men and women, and the Unbelievers, men and women, … "
Sura 34:12-42 (Saba / Sheba) " … if any of them turned aside from our command, We made him taste of the Penalty of the Blazing Fire. … We shall say to the wrong-doers, 'Taste ye the Penalty of the Fire, - the which ye were wont to deny!'"
Sura 35:6-36 (The Angels / Originator) " … that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire. … But those who reject (God) - for them will be the Fire of Hell: … "
Sura 36:64 (Ya-Sin) "Embrace ye the (fire) this Day, for that ye (persistently) rejected (Truth)."
Sura 37:22-163 (Those Who Set The Ranks / Drawn Up In Ranks) " … The wrong-doers and their wives, and the things they worshipped … and lead them to the Way to the (Fierce) Fire! … He looked down and saw him in the midst of the Fire. … For it is a tree that springs out of the bottom of Hell-Fire: … Then shall their return be to the (Blazing) Fire. … Except such as are (themselves) going to the blazing Fire!"
Sura 38:27-59 (Sad / The Letter S) " … woe to the Unbelievers because of the Fire (of Hell)! … Hell!- they will burn therein, - an evil bed (indeed, to lie on)! - Yea, such! - then shall they taste it, - a boiling fluid, and a fluid dark, murky, intensely cold! - And other Penalties of a similar kind, to match them! Here is a troop rushing headlong with you! No welcome for them! truly, they shall burn in the Fire! … Add to him a double Penalty in the Fire! … the mutual recriminations of the People of the Fire!"
Sura 39:8-32 (The Troops / Throngs) " … Enjoy thy blasphemy for a little while: verily thou art (one) of the Companions of the Fire! … They shall have Layers of Fire above them, and Layers (of Fire) below them: … Wouldst thou, then, deliver one (who is) in the Fire? … is there not in Hell an abode for blasphemers?"
Sura 40:6-76 (The Believer / The Forgiver / God) " … against the Unbelievers; that truly they are Companions of the Fire! … preserve them from the Penalty of the Blazing Fire! … and the Transgressors will be Companions of the Fire! … In front of the Fire will they be brought … they will dispute with each other in the Fire! The weak ones (who followed) will say to those who had been arrogant, "We but followed you: Can ye then take (on yourselves) from us some share of the Fire? … Those who had been arrogant will say: "We are all in this (Fire)! … Those in the Fire will say to the Keepers of Hell: … In the boiling fetid fluid: then in the Fire shall they be burned; … but those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell … Enter ye the gates of Hell, to dwell therein: … "
Sura 41:19-40 ((Signs) Spelled Out) "On the Day that the enemies of God will be gathered together to the Fire, … At length, when they reach the (Fire), … the Fire will be a home for them! … Such is the requital of the enemies of God, - the Fire: therein will be for them the Eternal Home: … Which is better?- he that is cast into the Fire, or he that comes safe through, … "
Sura 42:7 (Counsel / Consulatation) " … (when) some will be in the Garden, and some in the Blazing Fire."
Sura 43:74 (Ornaments Of Gold) "The sinners will be in the Punishment of Hell … "
Sura 44:47-56 (Smoke) " … Seize ye him and drag him into the midst of the Blazing Fire! … and He will preserve them from the Penalty of the Blazing Fire, … "
Sura 45:34-35 (Crouching) " … and your abode is the Fire, and no helpers have ye! This, because ye used to take the Signs of God in jest, … "
Sura 46:20-34 (The Wind-Curved Sandhills / The Dunes) "And on the Day that the Unbelievers will be placed before the Fire, … And on the Day that the Unbelievers will be placed before the Fire, … "
Sura 47:12-15 (Muhammad) " … those who reject God will enjoy (this world) and eat as cattle eat; and the Fire will be their abode. … shall dwell for ever in the Fire, and be given, to drink, boiling water, … "
Sura 48:6-13 (Victory (Conquest)) "And that He may punish the Hypocrites, men and women, and the Polytheists men and women, who imagine an evil opinion of God. On them is a round of Evil: the Wrath of God is on them: He has cursed them and got Hell ready for them: and evil is it for a destination. … And if any believe not in God and His Apostle, We have prepared, for those who reject God, a Blazing Fire!" Any opinions I may hold are certainly not imagined, unless life iteslf is. Sheesh! How profound is that?
Sura 50:24 (Qaf / The Letter Q) " … Throw, throw into Hell every contumacious Rejecter (of God)!"
Sura 51:13 (The Winnowing Winds) "(It will be) a Day when they will be tried (and tested) over the Fire!"
Sura 52:13-18 (The Mount) "That Day shall they be thrust down to the Fire of Hell, irresistibly. … Is the Fire, - which ye were wont to deny! … Burn ye therein: … and their Lord shall deliver them from the Penalty of the Fire."
Sura 54:48 (The Moon) "The day they will be dragged through the fire on their faces, (they will hear:) 'Taste ye the touch of hell!'"
Sura 55:35-44 (The Benificent / The Mercy-Giving) "On you will be sent (O ye evil ones twain!) a flame of fire (to burn) and a smoke (to choke): … This is the Hell which the Sinners deny: In its midst and in the midst of boiling hot water will they wander round!" So that's what "beneficent" means.
Sura 56:42-94 (The Event / The Inevitable) "(They will be) in the midst of a Fierce Blast of Fire and in Boiling Water, … For him is Entertainment with Boiling Water. And burning in Hell-Fire."
Sura 57:15-19 (Iron) " … those who rejected God. Your abode is the Fire: that is the proper place to claim you: … those who reject God and deny Our Signs, - they are the Companions of Hell-Fire. … "
Sura 58:17 (She That Disputeth / The Pleading Woman) " … against God, will be their riches nor their sons: they will be Companions of the Fire, … "
Sura 59:3-17 (Exile / Banishment) " … And in the Hereafter they shall (certainly) have the Punishment of the Fire.they will go into the Fire, dwelling therein for ever. Such is the reward of the wrong-doers. … "
Sura 64:10 (Mutual Disillusion / Haggling) "But those who reject Faith and treat Our Signs as falsehoods, they will be Companions of the Fire, to dwell therein for aye: … "
Sura 66:6-9 (Banning / Prohibition) "O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, … Their abode is Hell, - an evil refuge (indeed)"
Sura 67:5-11 (The Sovereignty / Control) " … the Evil Ones, and have prepared for them the Penalty of the Blazing Fire. … For those who reject their Lord (and Cherisher) is the Penalty of Hell: and evil is (such), Destination. … Had we but listened or used our intelligence, we should not (now) be among the Companions of the Blazing Fire! … but far will be (Forgiveness) from the Companions of the Blazing Fire!"
Sura 69:31 (The Reality) "And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire."
Sura 70:15-17 (The Ascending Stairways / Staircases Upward / Sceptic) " … for it would be the Fire of Hell! … Inviting (all) such as turn their backs and turn away their faces (from the Right)."
Sura 71:25 (Noah) "Because of their sins they were drowned (in the flood), and were made to enter the Fire (of Punishment): … "
Sura 72:14-16 (The Jinn / Sprites) " … But those who swerve, - they are (but) fuel for Hell-fire' … "
Sura 73:11-12 (The Enshrouded One / Bundled Up) " … who (yet) deny the Truth; and bear with them for a little while. With Us are Fetters (to bind them), and a Fire (to burn them), And a Food that chokes, and a Penalty Grievous."
Sura 74:26-43 (The Cloaked One / The Man Wearing A Cloak) "Soon will I cast him into Hell-Fire! And what will explain to thee what Hell-Fire is? Naught doth it permit to endure, and naught doth it leave alone! - Darkening and changing the colour of man! Over it are Nineteen. And We have set none but angels as Guardians of the Fire; and We have fixed their number only as a trial for Unbelievers, … What led you into Hell Fire? They will say: 'We were not of those who prayed;'" N-n-n-n-nineteen. It's Paul Hardcastle again!
Sura 76:4 (Time / Man (Every) Man / This (Day And) Age) "For the Rejecters we have prepared chains, yokes, and a blazing Fire."
Sura 78:21-25 (The Tidings / The Announcement) "Truly Hell is as a place of ambush, For the transgressors a place of destination: … "
Sura 79:36-39 (Those Who Drag Forth / Soul-Snatchers) "And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see, … The Abode will be Hell-Fire;"
Sura 81:12 (The Overthrowing / Extinguished! / Wrapping Things Up) "When the Blazing Fire is kindled to fierce heat;"
Sura 82:14 (The Cleaving / Bursting Apart) "And the Wicked - they will be in the Fire,"
Sura 83:16 (Defrauding / The Cheats / Cheating) "Further, they will enter the Fire of Hell."
Sura 84:12 (The Sundering / Splitting Open) "And he will enter a Blazing Fire."
Sura 85:10-14 (The Mansion Of The Stars / Constellations) " … will have the penalty of hell: They will have the penalty of the burning fire. … And he is the oft-forgiving, full of loving-kindness," Sorry, can't see the love through the heat-haze.
Sura 87:11-12 (The Most High) " … those most unfortunate ones, Who will enter the Great Fire,"
Sura 88:4-5 (The Overwhelming / The Pall) "The while they enter the Blazing Fire, The while they are given, to drink, of a boiling hot spring,"
Sura 90:19-20 (The City / This Countryside) "But those who reject Our Signs, … On them will be Fire vaulted over (all round)."
Sura 92:14 (The Night) "Therefore do I warn you of a Fire blazing fiercely;"
Sura 98:6 (The Clear Proof / Evidence) "Those who reject (Truth), among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, will be in Hell-Fire, to dwell therein (for aye). They are the worst of creatures."
Sura 101:11 (The Calamity / The Stunning Blow / The Disaster) "(It is) a Fire Blazing fiercely!"
Sura 102:6 (Rivalry In World Increase / Competition) "Ye shall certainly see Hell-Fire!"
Sura 104:6 (The Traducer / The Gossipmonger) "(It is) the Fire of (the Wrath of) God kindled (to a blaze),"
Sura 111:3 (Palm Fibre / The Flame) "Burnt soon will he be in a Fire of Blazing Flame!"

The Hadiths will never be completed as the time to trawl through them is far too long, and god are they stupifyingly mind-numbingly boring in their almost ceaseless repetition.

Hadith 2:15-42 (Belief) " … as he hates to be thrown into the fire. … as he hates to be thrown in fire. … and the people of Hell will go to Hell, … faith equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed to be taken out from Hell. … for fear that he might be thrown on his face in the Fire … I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful. … both the murderer as well as the murdered will go to the Hell-fire. … good (faith) equal to the weight of a barley grain will be taken out of Hell. … good (faith) equal to the weight of a wheat grain will be taken out of Hell. … good (faith) equal to the weight of an atom will be taken out of Hell."
Hadith 3:57-130 (Knowledge) " … the Prophet addressed us in a loud voice and said twice or thrice: 'Save your heels from the fire.' … seen what I have never seen before, including Paradise and Hell … so the Prophet addressed us in a loud voice and said twice or thrice, 'Save your heels from the fire.' … 'A woman whose three children die will be shielded by them from the Hell fire.' On that a woman asked, 'If only two die?' He replied, 'Even two (will shield her from the Hell-fire)' … Do not tell a lie against me for whoever tells a lie against me (intentionally) then he will surely enter the Hell-fire. … Whoever tells a lie against me (intentionally) then (surely) let him occupy, his seat in Hell-fire. … Whoever tells a lie against me intentionally, then (surely) let him occupy his seat in Hell-fire. … Whoever (intentionally) ascribes to me what I have not said then (surely) let him occupy his seat in Hell-fire. … And whoever tells a lie against me (intentionally), then (surely) let him occupy his seat in Hell-fire. … except that Allah, will save him from the Hell-fire."
Hadith 4:164-184 (Ablutions / Wudu') " … he addressed us in a loud voice saying twice orthriae, 'Save your heels from the fire.' … Perform ablution perfectly and thoroughly for Abul-Qasim (the Prophet) said, 'Save your heels from the Hell-fire.' … seen something which I never saw before at this place of mine, including Paradise and Hell."
Hadith 6:301 (Menstrual Periods) " … the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women) … "
Hadith 8:345-438 (Prayers / Salat) " … those on his left are the people of Hell … Allah has forbidden the (Hell) fire for those who say, 'None has the right to be worshipped but Allah' … I have been shown the Hellfire (now) and I never saw a worse and horrible sight … He will be inviting them (i.e. his murderers, the rebellious group) to Paradise and they will invite him to Hell-fire. … "

Angels & Demons

Sura 2:34-98 (The Cow) " … We said to the angels: 'Bow down to Adam' and they bowed down. Not so Iblis: he refused and was haughty: … Then did Satan make them slip from the (garden), … Whoever is an enemy to Gabriel - for he brings down the (revelation) to thy heart by God's will, … to Gabriel and Michael, … " So much for Allah's power if he couldn't even make an angel obey his command.
Sura 3:42-155 (The FamilyOf 'Imran / The House Of 'Imran) "Behold! the angels said: 'O Mary! God hath chosen thee and purified thee' … Behold! the angels said: 'O Mary! God giveth thee glad tidings of a Word from Him:' … it was Satan who caused them to fail, because of some (evil) they had done. … " (cf 19:17 where there is only one angel.)
Sura 4:60-120 (Women) " … But Satan's wish is to lead them astray … So fight ye against the friends of Satan: feeble indeed is the cunning of Satan. … all but a few of you would have fallen into the clutches of Satan. … They call but upon Satan the persistent rebel! … Whoever, forsaking God, takes Satan for a friend, … Satan makes them promises, and creates in them false desires; but Satan's promises are nothing but deception."
Sura 5:93-94 (The Table / The Table Spread) " … Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination, - of Satan's handwork: … Satan's plan is (but) to excite enmity and hatred between you, … "
Sura 6:43-142 (Cattle / Livestock) " … and Satan made their (sinful) acts seem alluring to them. … If Satan ever makes thee forget, … and follow not the footsteps of Satan: … "
Sura 7:11-201 (The Heights) " … We bade the angels bow down to Adam, and they bowed down; not so Iblis; He refused to be of those who bow down. … Then began Satan to whisper suggestions to them, … and tell you that Satan was an avowed enemy unto you? … Let not Satan seduce you, in the same manner as He got your parents out of the Garden, … so Satan followed him up, and he went astray. … If a suggestion from Satan assail thy (mind), … when a thought of evil from Satan assaults them, … "
Sura 8:11-48 (Spoils Of War / Booty) " … to remove from you the stain of Satan, … Remember Satan made their (sinful) acts seem alluring to them, … "
Sura 12:5-100 (Joseph) " … for Satan is to man an avowed enemy! … But Satan made him forget to mention him to his lord: … even) after Satan had sown enmity between me and my brothers. … "
Sura 14:22 (Abraham) "And Satan will say when the matter is decided: … "
Sura 15:31- (Al-Hijr / Stoneland / Rock City) "Not so Iblis: he refused to be among those who prostrated themselves. (God) said: 'O Iblis! what is your reason for not being among those who prostrated themselves?'"
Sura 16:63-98 (The Bee) " … but Satan made, (to the wicked), their own acts seem alluring: … seek God's protection from Satan the rejected one."
Sura 17:53-64 (Isra' / The Night Journey / Children Of Israel) " … for Satan doth sow dissensions among them: For Satan is to man an avowed enemy. … We said to the angels: 'Bow down unto Adam": They bowed down except Iblis: He said, "Shall I bow down to one whom Thou didst create from clay?' … But Satan promises them nothing but deceit."
Sura 18:50-63 (The Cave) " … We said to the angels, 'Bow down to Adam': They bowed down except Iblis. … none but Satan made me forget to tell (you) about it: … "
Sura 19:17-64 (Mary) " … We sent her our angel, and he appeared before her as a man in all respects. … serve not Satan: for Satan is a rebel against (God) … so that thou become to Satan a friend. … (The angels say:) 'We descend not but by command of thy Lord: … " (cf 3:42 where there is more than one angel.)
Sura 20:116-120 (Ta-Ha) "When We said to the angels, "Prostrate yourselves to Adam", they prostrated themselves, but not Iblis: he refused. … But Satan whispered evil to him: … "
Sura 22:52-53 (The Pilgrimage) " … Satan threw some (vanity) into his desire: but God will cancel anything (vain) that Satan throws in, … That He may make the suggestions thrown in by Satan, … "
Sura 24:21 (Light) " … follow not Satan's footsteps: if any will follow the footsteps of Satan, … "
Sura 26:95 (The Poets) "And the whole hosts of Iblis together."
Sura 27:24 (The Ant / The Ants) " … Satan has made their deeds seem pleasing in their eyes, … "
Sura 28:15 (The Story / Stories) " … This is a work of Evil (Satan): … "
Sura 31:21 (Luqman) " … even if it is Satan beckoning them … "
Sura 34:20 (Saba / Sheba) "And on them did Satan prove true his idea, … "
Sura 35:1-6 (The Angels / Originator) " … Who made the angels, messengers with wings,- two, or three, or four (pairs): … Verily Satan is an enemy to you: … "
Sura 36:60 (Ya-Sin) " … that ye should not worship Satan; … "
Sura 38:56-59 (Sad / The Letter S) "Not so Iblis: he was haughty, and became one of those who reject Faith. … (God) said: 'O Iblis! What prevents thee from prostrating thyself to one whom I have created with my hands? … "
Sura 43: (Ornaments Of Gold) " … O Malik! would that thy Lord put an end to us! … "
Sura 66:4 (Banning / Prohibition) " … and Gabriel, and (every) righteous one among those who believe, - and furthermore, the angels - will back (him) up."

Hadith 1:3-5 (Revelation) " … This is the same one who keeps the secrets (angel Gabriel) whom Allah had sent to Moses. … When we have recited it to you (O Muhammad through Gabriel) then you follow its (Qur'an) recital … Afterwards, Allah's Apostle used to listen to Gabriel whenever he came and after his departure he used to recite it as Gabriel had recited it. … he used to reach the peak in generosity in the month of Ramadan when Gabriel met him. Gabriel used to meet him every night of Ramadan to teach him the Qur'an. … "
Hadith 2:47 (Belief) " … (The angel) Gabriel came and asked, 'What is faith?' … Then that man (Gabriel) left and the Prophet asked his companions to call him back, … That was Gabriel who came to teach the people their religion. … "
Hadith 3:74-110 (Knowledge) " … I indeed forgot the fish, none but Satan made me forget to remember it. … I indeed forgot the fish, none but Satan made me forget to remember it. … And whoever sees me in a dream then surely he has seen me for Satan cannot impersonate me. … "
Hadith 4:143 (Ablutions / Wudu') " … Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan, and if it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring."
Hadith 8:345 (Prayers / Salat) " … the roof of my house was opened and Gabriel descended, … Gabriel said to the gatekeeper of the heaven, … is it?' Gabriel answered: 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Yes, Muhammad is with me.' … Gabriel said, 'Yes.' … I asked Gabriel, 'Who is he?' … Then he ascended with me till he reached the second heaven and he (Gabriel) said to its gatekeeper, … When Gabriel along with the Prophet passed by Idris, … Gabriel replied, 'He is Idris.' … I asked Gabriel, 'Who is he?' Gabriel replied, 'He is Moses.' … Gabriel replied, 'He is Jesus.' … I asked Gabriel, 'Who is he?' Gabriel replied, 'He is Abraham.' The Prophet added, 'Then Gabriel ascended with me to a place where I heard the creaking of the pens. … Then Gabriel took me till we reached … "
Hadith 9:488 (Virtues Of The Prayer Hall / Sutra Of The Musalla) " … if he refuses, he should use force against him for he is a Satan."
Hadith 10:500-576 (Times of the Prayers) " … Don't you know that once Gabriel came and offered the prayer (Fajr prayer) … and so did Allah's Apostle and (Gabriel) said, … Did Gabriel lead Allah's Apostle at the stated times of the prayers? … said, 'That (oath) was from Satan' meaning his oath (not to eat). … "
Hadith 11:582 (Call To Prayers / Adhaan) " … When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise … "
Hadith 12:794 (Characteristics of Prayer) " … Gabriel came to him and said, … Gabriel came to him and said, … Peace be on Gabriel, Michael, peace be on so and so. … "
Hadith 15:70-72 (The Two Festivals / Eids) " … Musical instruments of Satan near the Prophet? … Musical instruments of Satan in the house of Allah's Apostle! … "
Hadith 17:147 (Invoking Allah For Rain / Istisqaa) " … There will appear earthquakes and afflictions, and from there will come out the side of the head of Satan."
Hadith 21:225-245 (Prayer At Night / Tahajjud) "Gabriel did not come to the Prophet (for some time) and so one of the Quraish women said, 'His Satan has deserted him.' … Satan puts three knots at the back of the head of any of you if he is asleep. … Satan urinated in his ears." Here, 'Satan' seems to be used as a generic description for any angel, whether fallen or not.
Hadith 22:301-324 (Actions While Praying) " … Satan came in front of me and tried to interrupt my prayer, … Then Allah made him (Satan) return with his head down (humiliated). … When the Adhan for the prayer is pronounced, then Satan takes to his heels passing wind so that he may not hear the Adhan … Satan takes to his heels passing wind so that he may not hear the Adhan … and when the Iqama is pronounced, Satan again takes to his heels, … When anyone of you stands for the prayers, Satan comes and puts him in doubts … "
Hadith 23:468 (Funerals / Al-Janaa'iz) " … And the one who was kindling the fire was Malik, the gate-keeper of the Hell-fire. … I am Gabriel and this is Michael. … "
Hadith 31:126 (Fasting) " … he used to be more so in the month of Ramadan when Gabriel visited him, and Gabriel used to meet him on every night of Ramadan till the end of the month. The Prophet used to recite the Holy Qur'an to Gabriel, and when Gabriel met him, he used to be more generous than a fast wind (which causes rain and welfare)."
Hadith 33:251-255 (Retiring To A Mosque For Remembrance Of Allah / I'tikaf) " … Satan reaches everywhere in the human body as blood reaches in it, (everywhere in one's body). I was afraid lest Satan might insert an evil thought in your minds. … Satan circulates in the human being as blood circulates in the body, and I was afraid lest Satan might insert an evil thought in your minds. … And Satan circulates in the body of Adam's offspring as his blood circulates in it. … " Only said 3 times : this must have been a lazy day.
Hadith 34:420 (Sales And Trade) " … By Allah! You have sent a Satan to me. … "
Hadith 38:505t (Representation / Authorization / Business By Proxy) " … no Satan will come near you till morning. … and no Satan will come near you till morning. … It was Satan."
Hadith 39:530 (Agriculture) " … Someone (meaning Gabriel) came to me from my Lord tonight (in my dream) … "
Hadith 41:573 (Loans / Payment Of Loans /Freezing Of Property / Bankruptcy) " … Gabriel came and said to me, 'Whoever amongst your followers dies, worshipping none along with Allah, will enter Paradise.' I said, 'Even if he did such-and-such things (i.e. even if he stole or committed illegal sexual intercourse)' He said, 'Yes.'" All that matters is worshipping Allah. Do whatever else you want and you always go to heaven. (cf 74:285, 76:450, 76:451)
Hadith 52:57-155 (Fighting For The Cause Of Allah / Jihaad) " … Gabriel informed the Prophet that they (i.e the martyrs) met their Lord … Then Gabriel whose head was covered with dust … Gabriel said, 'This way,' … Instrument of Satan … "
Hadith 53:333-336 (One-Fifth Of Booty To The Cause Of Allah / Khumus) " … Satan circulates in the mind of a person as blood does (in his body). I was afraid that Satan might put some (evil) thoughts in your minds. … from where the side of the Satan's head comes out (i.e. from the East)."
Hadith 54:429-522 (Beginning Of Creation ) " … a donkey was brought to me and I set out with Gabriel. When I reached the nearest heaven. Gabriel said to the heaven gate-keeper, … He said, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel said, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel said, 'Yes.' … Gabriel said, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel said, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel said, 'Muhammad.' … 'Yes,' said Gabriel. … I asked Gabriel about it and he said, … I asked Gabriel about those rivers and he said, 'The two hidden rivers are in Paradise, and the apparent ones are the Nile and the Euphrates.' … If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel saying, 'Allah loves so and-so; O Gabriel! Love him.' Gabriel would love him … Lampoon them (i.e. the pagans) and Gabriel is with you. … That was caused by the procession of Gabriel. … This is Gabriel and he sends his (greetings) salutations to you. … Allah's Apostle asked Gabriel, 'Why don't you visit us more often than you do?' … Gabriel read the Qur'an to me in one way … and he used to be more generous in the month of Ramadan when Gabriel used to meet him. Gabriel used to meet him every night in Ramadan … Allah's Apostle used to become more generous than the fast wind when he met Gabriel … Gabriel descended and led the prayer in front of the Prophet … Gabriel descended and led me in prayer; … Gabriel said to me, … Once Gabriel promised the Prophet (that he would visit him, but Gabriel did not come) … I looked up and saw Gabriel in it. … So did (Allah) convey The Inspiration to His slave (Gabriel) and then he (Gabriel) Conveyed (that to Muhammad). … the Prophet had seen Gabriel having 600 wings. … he only saw Gabriel in his genuine shape in which he was created covering the whole horizon. … Then he (Gabriel) approached And came closer, … It was Gabriel who used to come to the Prophet in the figure of a man, but on that occasion, he came in his actual and real figure and (he was so huge) that he covered the whole horizon. … The person who kindles the fire is Malik, the gate-keeper of the (Hell) Fire, and I am Gabriel, and this is Michael. … During your sleep, Satan knots three knots at the back of the head of each of you, … He is a man in whose ears (or ear) Satan had urinated. … Protect us from Satan and prevent Satan from approaching our offspring you are going to give us,' and if he begets a child (as a result of that relation) Satan will not harm it. … the sun rises between two sides of the head of the devil (or Satan). … Satan will not approach you till dawn. … though he is a liar, and he (the thief) himself was the Satan. … Satan comes to one of you and says, 'Who created so-and-so? … I indeed forgot the fish and none but Satan made me forget to remember it. … afflictions will verily emerge hence where the (side of the head of) Satan appears. … Satan circulates in the human mind as blood circulates in it, and I was afraid that Satan might throw an evil thought (or something) into your hearts. … I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan. … Seek refuge with Allah from Satan. … Protect me from Satan, and prevent Satan from approaching the offspring you are going to give me, … Satan will neither harm it nor be given power over it. … Satan came in front of me trying persistently to divert my attention from the prayer … Satan takes to his heels, passing wind with noise, … Satan touches him at both sides of the body with his two fingers, except Jesus, the son of Mary, whom Satan tried to touch but failed, … Is the person whom Allah has protected against Satan, … Yawning is from Satan … if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him. … Satan shouted, 'O slaves of Allah! Beware of the forces at your back,' and on that the Muslims of the front files fought with the Muslims of the back files … It is what Satan steals from the prayer of any one of you. … A good dream is from Allah, and a bad or evil dream is from Satan; … he will be protected from the morning till evening from Satan, … whenever Satan sees you taking a path, he follows a path other than yours. … because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night. … here the two sides of the head of Satan will appear. … seek Refuge with Allah from Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan."
Hadith 55:546 (Prophets) " … Gabriel has just now told me of their answers.' Abdullah said, 'He (i.e. Gabriel), from amongst all the angels, is the enemy of the Jews. … It was Gabriel (who had made the voice). Gabriel hit the earth with his heel … Gabriel said to the Prophet, 'This is Aaron.' The Prophet said, 'Gabriel greeted and so did I … Gabriel said, 'Drink whichever you like.' I took the milk and drank it. Gabriel said, 'You have accepted what is natural … I forgot the fish, and it was only Satan who made me forget to tell (you) about it. … I forgot the fish, and none but Satan caused me to forget to tell (you) about it … Then Gabriel took me … Gabriel replied, 'I am Gabriel.' … Gabriel said, 'These are John (Yahya) and Jesus … There is none born among the off-spring of Adam, but Satan touches it. A child therefore, cries loudly at the time of birth because of the touch of Satan, except Mary and her child.' … I seek refuge with You for her and for her offspring from the outcast Satan."
Hadith 56:714-827 (Virtues And Merits Of The Prophet And His Companions) " … 'Verily, afflictions (will start) from here,' pointing towards the east, 'whence the side of the head of Satan comes out.' … he used to become more generous in Ramadan when Gabriel met him. … Gabriel used to meet him every night during Ramadan to revise the Qur'an with him. … then Gabriel took charge of the Prophet … Every year Gabriel used to revise the Qur'an with me once only … I got the news that Gabriel came to the Prophet … Gabriel started talking to the Prophet … I heard the Prophet talking about Gabriel in his sermon. … "
Hadith 57:32-105 (Companions Of The Prophet) " … Never does Satan find you going on a way, but he takes another way other than yours. … Is there amongst you the one whom Allah gave Refuge from Satan … Weren't there amongst you the man who was given Allah's Refuge from the Satan? … This is Gabriel greeting you. … "
Hadith 58:161-275 (Merits Of The Helpers In Madinah / Ansaar) "Then Satan shouted loudly, 'O Allah's slaves! Beware the ones behind you!' So the front files attacked the back ones. Obviously Satan's fault, because soldiers would never be that stupid, now would they? Is this the first recorded incident of "friendly fire"? (cf 54:510, 59:394, 78:661, 83:22 & 83:28) … his Lord (or Gabriel) ordered him to give her the good news … Gabriel came to the Prophet and said, … Gabriel set out with me … Gabriel answered, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel replied in the affirmative. … Gabriel said (to me). … Then Gabriel ascended with me … Gabriel asked for the gate to be opened. … Gabriel answered, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel answered in the affirmative. … Gabriel said (to me), … Then Gabriel ascended with me … Gabriel replied, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel replied in the affirmative. … Gabriel said (to me), … Then Gabriel ascended with me … Gabriel replied, 'Gabriel' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel replied in the affirmative. … Gabriel said (to me), … Then Gabriel ascended with me … Gabriel replied, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel replied in the affirmative. … Gabriel said, (to me). … Then Gabriel ascended with me … Gabriel replied, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel replied in the affirmative. … Gabriel said (to me), … Then Gabriel ascended with me … Gabriel replied, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel replied, 'Muhammad.' … Gabriel replied in the affirmative. … Gabriel said (to me), … Gabriel said, 'This is the Lote Tree of the utmost boundary. … 'What are these two kinds of rivers, O Gabriel?' … Gabriel remarked, 'This is the Islamic religion which you and your followers are following.' … Musical instrument of Satan! … Gabriel has just now informed me of that.' Ibn Salam said, 'He (i.e. Gabriel) is the enemy of the Jews amongst the angels.'"
Hadith 59:327-739 (Military Expeditions Led By The Prophet / Al-Maghaazi) " … Gabriel came to the Prophet and said, … On that, Gabriel said, "And so are the Angels who participated in the Badr (battle). … The one who asked (the Prophet) was Gabriel. … This is Gabriel holding the head of his horse … Gabriel came down and offered the prayer … Gabriel said to the Prophet, … This is Gabriel holding the head of his horse … Then Satan, Allah's Curse be upon him, cried loudly, 'O Allah's Worshippers, beware of what is behind!' On that, the front files of the (Muslim) forces turned their backs and started fighting with the back files. … Gabriel came and said to the Prophet … Gabriel said, 'Towards this side,' … because of the marching of Gabriel's regiment … Gabriel came to him while he (i.e. Gabriel) was shaking the dust off his head, … Gabriel pointed towards Bani Quraiza … Abuse them (with your poems), and Gabriel is with you … Abuse them (with your poems), and Gabriel is with you … afflictions appear from there (the east) from where the side of the head of Satan will appear. … We convey this news (of your death) to Gabriel.
Hadith 60:64-475 (Prophetic Commentary On The Qur'an / Tafseer Of The Prophet ) " … Just now Gabriel has informed me about that. Abdullah said, 'Gabriel?' The Prophet said, 'Yes.' Abdullah said, 'He, among the angels is the enemy of the Jews.' Whoever is an enemy to Gabriel (let him die in his fury!) … Allah sends him Satan whereupon he commits sins till all his good deeds are lost. … No child is born but that, Satan touches it when it is born where upon it starts crying loudly because of being touched by Satan, … 'And I seek Refuge with You (Allah) for her and her offspring from Satan, the outcast.' … Gabriel said, 'Thanks to Allah Who guided you to the Fitra (i.e. Islam) … I indeed forgot the fish, none but Satan made me forget to remember it. … The Prophet said to Gabriel, 'What prevents you from visiting us more often than you visit us now?' … Then Gabriel came down and revealed to him: … That was Gabriel who came to teach the people their religion. … So did (Allah) convey the Inspiration to His slave (Gabriel) and then he Gabriel) conveyed (that to Muhammad. Ibn Mas'ud narrated to us that the Prophet had seen Gabriel with six hundred wings. … So did Allah convey the Inspiration to His slave (Gabriel) and then he (Gabriel) conveyed that to Muhammad.' He said, 'Abdullah (bin Mas'ud) informed us that Muhammad had seen Gabriel with six hundred wings.' … and when they died Satan inspired their people to prepare and place idols … When Gabriel revealed the Divine Inspiration in Allah's Apostle, … So whenever Gabriel came to Allah's Apostle ' he would keep quiet (and listen), … I think that your Satan has forsaken you, … This is the same Angel (Gabriel) who was sent to Moses. … I asked Gabriel. 'What is this river?'
Hadith 61:506-530 (Virtues Of The Qur'an) "I was informed that Gabriel came to the Prophet … Gabriel started talking (to the Prophet). … When Gabriel had left, Um Salama said, … wherein he informed about the news of Gabriel. … I do not see but that your Satan has left you. … Satan will not be able to come near you till dawn. … Gabriel recited the Qur'an to me in one way. Then I requested him (to read it in another way), and continued asking him to recite it in other ways, and he recited it in several ways till he ultimately recited it in seven different ways. How can a unique inerrant book be recited in different ways? … Gabriel used to meet him every night of the month of Ramadan … Allah's Apostle used to recite the Qur'an for him. When Gabriel met him, … Gabriel used to repeat the recitation of the Qur'an with the Prophet once a year, … He (who came to you at night) told you the truth although he is a liar; and it was Satan. … whenever Gabriel descended to Allah's Apostle with the Divine Inspiration, … through Gabriel then follow you its recital. … when Gabriel came to him, Allah's Apostle would listen to him attentively, and as soon as Gabriel left, he would recite the Revelations, … "
Hadith 62:64 (Wedlock, Marriage / Nikaah) " … then Satan will never be able to harm him."
Hadith 63:223 (Divorce) " … where the two sides of the head of Satan will appear, … "
Hadith 69:482-527 (Drinks) " … Gabriel said, 'Praise be to Allah Who guided you to Al-Fitra … the devils spread out at that time. … for Satan does not open a closed door."
Hadith 71:643 (Medicine) " … A good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan. … "
Hadith 72:843 (Dress) " … Once Gabriel promised to visit the Prophet but he delayed and the Prophet got worried about that. At last he came out and found Gabriel and complained to him of his grief (for his delay). Gabriel said to him, "We do not enter a place in which there is a picture or a dog."
Hadith 73:74-245 (Good Manners And Form / Al-Adab) " … Gabriel continued to recommend me about treating the neighbours Kindly and politely … Gabriel kept on recommending me about treating the neighbours in a kind and polite manner … He calls Gabriel saying: 'Allah loves so and so; O Gabriel, love him.' Gabriel would love him, and then Gabriel would make an announcement among the residents of the Heaven … Seek refuge with Allah from Satan. … whenever Satan sees you taking a way, he follows a way other than yours! … I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast. … The first (state of fury) was because of Satan. … All that happened was from Satan. … Support him (Hassan) with the Holy Spirit (Gabriel). … Lampoon them (the pagans) in verse, and Gabriel is with you. … whoever sees me in a dream, he surely sees me, for Satan cannot impersonate me … O Aisha! This is Gabriel sending his greetings to you. … The Prophet used to see things which we used not to see. … Satan runs in the body of Adam's son (i.e. man) as his blood circulates in it, and I was afraid that he (Satan) might insert an evil thought in your hearts. … But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, … if one says 'Ha' when yawning, Satan will laugh at him. … But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, … for when anyone of you yawns, Satan laughs at him. … "
Hadith 74:249-266 (Asking Permission) " … As-Salam be on Gabriel, As-Salam be on Michael, As-Salam be on so-and-so. … This is Gabriel sending his greetings to you.' I said, 'Peace, and Allah's Mercy be on him (Gabriel) … Gabriel sends Salam (greetings) to you. … That was Gabriel who came to me and informed me that whoever among my followers died without joining others in worship with Allah, would enter Paradise.' I said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Even if he had committed illegal sexual intercourse and theft?' He said, 'Even if he had committed illegal sexual intercourse and theft … refuge from Satan through the request (tongue) of Allah's Apostle? … "
Hadith 75:397-412 (Invocations) " … then Satan will never be able to harm that child. … and it (his saying) will be a shield for him from Satan on that day till night, … "
Hadith 76:450-583 (To Make The Heart Tender / Ar-Riqaq) " … It was Gabriel who appeared to me beside Al-Harra and said, 'Give the good news to your followers that whoever dies without having worshipped anything besides Allah, will enter Paradise.' I said, 'O Gabriel! Even if he had committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Even if he has committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Even if he has committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse?' He said, 'Yes.' … It was Gabriel who came to me and said, 'Whoever died without joining others in worship with Allah, will enter Paradise.' I asked (Gabriel), 'Even if he had committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse? Gabriel said, 'Yes, even if he had committed theft or committed illegal sexual intercourse.' … so I asked Gabriel, "Are these people my followers?' … Gabriel said. 'Those are your followers, and those are seventy thousand … I asked, 'What is this, O Gabriel?' … "
Hadith 78:661 (Oaths And Vows) " … Satan shouted, 'O Allah's slaves! Beware of what is behind you!' So the front files of the Muslims attacked their own back files. … "
Hadith 81:768-772 (Limits And Punishments Set By Allah / Hudood) " … you are helping Satan to overpower him. … Do not help Satan against your (Muslim) brother."
Hadith 83:22-28 (Blood Money / Ad-Diyat) " … Satan shouted among the people on the day of Uhud, 'O Allah's worshippers! Beware of what is behind you!' So the front file of the army attacked the back files (mistaking them for the enemy) … Satan shouted, 'O Allah's worshipers! Beware of what is behind you!' So the front files attacked the back files of the army."
Hadith 87:111-169 (Interpretation Of Dreams) " … This is the same Namus (i.e., Gabriel, the Angel who keeps the secrets) whom Allah had sent to Moses … Gabriel would appear before him and say … Gabriel would appear before him and say to him what he had said before. … A true good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan. … a dream that he dislikes, then it is from Satan, … A good dream that comes true is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan, so if anyone of you sees a bad dream, he should seek refuge with Allah from Satan and should spit on the left, for the bad dream will not harm him. … and Satan cannot imitate me in shape. … for Satan cannot imitate my shape. … A good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan. … seek refuge with Allah from Satan, for it will not harm him, and Satan cannot appear in my shape. … Who ever sees me (in a dream) then he indeed has seen the truth, as Satan cannot appear in my shape. … A good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan; … what is suggested by Satan to frighten the dreamer, … seek refuge with Allah from its evil and from the evil of Satan, … a dream which he did not like, then that is from Satan … " I'm so sorry, but as a poor feeble-minded woman, I'm still not clear about which dream is from who : could you repeat it for me one more time? Oh, please do!
Hadith 88:193-214 (Afflictions And The End Of The World) " … Satan may tempt him to hit him …and pointed with his finger towards the East) and said, 'Afflictions are there! Afflictions are there, from where the side of the head of Satan comes out, … Afflictions are there, from where the side of the head of Satan comes out. … the place of earthquakes and afflictions and from there comes out the side of the head of Satan."
Hadith 89:283 (Judgments / Ahkaam) " … Satan circulates in the human body as blood does."
Hadith 93:486-615 (Oneness / Uniqueness Of Allah / Tawheed) " … Gabriel called me and said, … If anyone of you, when intending to have a sexual relation (sleep) with his wife, says: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna ashShaitan, wa Jannib ash-Shaitana ma razaqtana, Satan would never harm that child, … O Gabriel, what prevents you. from visiting us more often than you do? … I did indeed forget to tell you (about) the fish. None but Satan made me forget to tell you about it … If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel, saying, 'Allah loves so and so, O Gabriel love him' So Gabriel would love him and then would make an announcement in the Heavens: … Gabriel came to me and gave me the glad tidings … I asked (Gabriel), 'Even if he committed theft, and even if he committed illegal sexual intercourse?' … The Prophet said that Gabriel said … From among them Gabriel took charge of him. Gabriel cut open (the part of his body) … and then Gabriel stuffed his chest and throat blood vessels with it and then closed it (the chest). … The dwellers of the Heaven asked, 'Who is it?' He said, 'Gabriel.' … Gabriel said to the Prophet, … He asked, 'What are these two rivers, O Gabriel?' Gabriel said, 'These are the sources of the Nile and the Euphrates. … Then Gabriel took him around that Heaven and behold, … 'What is this, O Gabriel?' Gabriel said, 'This is the Kauthar which your Lord has kept for you.' Then Gabriel ascended (with him) … 'Who is it?' Gabriel replied, 'Gabriel'. … Then he (Gabriel) ascended with the Prophet to the third Heaven, … But Gabriel ascended with him (the Prophet) for a distance above that, … came closer till he (Gabriel) was about two bow lengths or (even) nearer. (It is said that it was Gabriel who approached and came closer to the Prophet. … So the Prophet turned to Gabriel … Gabriel told him of his opinion, … So Gabriel ascended with him to the Irresistible … The Prophet turned towards Gabriel for advice and Gabriel did not disapprove of that. On that Gabriel said, 'Descend in Allah's Name.' But when We have recited it, to you (O Muhammad through Gabriel) then follow you its recital. … So Allah's Apostle used to listen whenever Gabriel came to him, and when Gabriel left, the Prophet would recite the Qur'an as Gabriel had recited it to him. … "

Other Deities & Beliefs

Sura 4:117 (Women) "(The Pagans), leaving Him, call but upon female deities: … "
Sura 19:81 (Mary) "And they have taken (for worship) gods other than God, to give them power and glory!"
Sura 21:98-100 (The Prophets) " … and the (false) gods that ye worship besides God, … "
Sura 27:24 (The Ant / The Ants) "I found her and her people worshipping the sun besides God: … "Rather ironic considering that Allah was originally the name of a moon-god.
Sura 40:73-74 (The Believer / The Forgiver / God) " … Where are the (deities) to which ye gave part- worship - In derogation of God?"
Sura 48:6 (Victory / Conquest) " … and the Polytheists men and women, who imagine an evil opinion of God. … " How can you imagine an opinion? You either have one, or you don't, and regardless of how prejudiced or not it may be, it still exists if you have it.
Sura 53:19-22 (The Star) "Have ye seen Lat. and 'Uzza, And another, the third (goddess), Manat?"
Sura 98:6 (The Clear Proof / Evidence) " … among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, … "

Hadith 60:442 (Prophetic Commentary On The Qur'an / Tafseer Of The Prophet ) " … The names (of the idols) formerly belonged to some pious men of the people of Noah, and when they died Satan inspired their people to (prepare and place idols at the places where they used to sit, and to call those idols by their names. The people did so, but the idols were not worshipped till those people (who initiated them) had died and the origin of the idols had become obscure, whereupon people began worshipping them.

Foreign (non-Arabic) Words

Sura 42:7 (Counsel (Consulatation)) "Thus have We sent by inspiration to thee an Arabic Qur'an: … "

It's a standard ploy for many Muslims to claim that 'lost in translation' excuses all perceived errors with an inerrant book, despite the fact that most concepts translate perfectly well, yet Christians & Jews never expect their readers to learn Coptic, Aramaic, Greek, etc., and how many Muslims are themselves reading translations?

Also, in perfect examples of religious double-think (otherwise known as denial), excuses are trotted out:

"We must always strive to discover why in certain instances the Koran appears to not follow correct Arabic grammar. If we cannot find an answer, however, then we must leave the matter to Allah." [Al Azhar]
"The Koran is most magnificent and perfect in language and structure; thus, if something appears wrong, it is not the Koran that is wrong but rather our understanding of language. As for obvious problems or contradictions, we are obligated to overlook these, for faith will resolve these matters." [Haqa'iq Al Islam, The Truths Of Islam]

The Qur'an was allegedly given to Muhammad by the Archangel Gabriel (who may or may not sometimes look like Christopher Walken), in 'pure' Arabic, over the course of 23 years. Strange, then, how these words appear.

Abraham (or Ibrahim) is Assyrian, and would be better represented by Abu Raheem.
Adam is Accadian, which in Arabic would be basharan or insan, meaning mankind.
Ahbar (teacher) is Hebrew.
Darasa (excessive studying to a forced conclusion) is Hebrew.
Eden is Accadian and would be the Arabic janna, or garden.
Firdaus is Persian and means Jannah in Arabic, referring to the highest (seventh) heaven.
Furquan (deliverance / redemption) is Hebrew and misused as revelation.
Haroot is a Persian angel.
Heber is Hebrew.
Hoor is Persian whose Arabic counterpart is Tilmeeth, meaning disciple.
Iblis is a corruption of the Greek Diabolos.
Injil is Greek for gospel, and the correct word in Arabic is bisharah.
Istabraq is Persian?
Jehannim (hell) is Hebrew.
Jannatu'Adn (paradise) is Hebrew.
Jinn normally refers to good or evil demons, and the Arabic word is ruh.
Niaoon is Hebrew.
Malak is Ethiopic for angel.
Malakout is Syriac.
Malakut (government) is Hebrew.
Maoon / Ma'un(refuge) is Hebrew.
Maroot is a Persian angel.
Masanil (repetition) is Hebrew.
Pharaoh is Egyptian.
Qalam is Assyrian.
Qartas is Greek.
Rabani (teacher) is Hebrew.
Sabt (sabbath) is Hebrew.
Sakinat (presence of god) is Hebrew.
Seratt is Persian?
Sirat should have been Altareeq, which means the path.
Sundus is Persian?
Tabot (ark) is Hebrew.
Taboot is Syriac.
Taghouth is Syriac.
Taghut (error) is Hebrew.
Taurat (law) is Hebrew.
Tufan (law) is Hebrew.
Turat is Hebrew.
Zakat is Syriac.

'Aisha

Sura 33:21 (The Clans (The Coalition, The Combined Forces)) "Ye have indeed in the Apostle of God a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for any one whose hope is in God and the Final Day, and who engages much in the Praise of God."

Let's not use the 'p' word in case someone is offended, so we'll concentrate on his self-control: he waited 3 years before doing anything, by which time she was by her own admission 9 years old. Note that this wasn't real years, however, because these people were so far ahead of their time they still used a Lunar calendar.

Hadith 4:231 (Ablutions / Wudu') "I asked 'Aisha about the clothes soiled with semen. She replied, 'I used to wash it off the clothes of Allah's Apostle and he would go for the prayer while water spots were still visible. '"
Hadith 58:234 (Merits Of The Helpers In Madinah / Ansaar) "The Prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six (years). We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj. … Then she entrusted me to them and they prepared me (for the marriage). Unexpectedly Allah's Apostle came to me in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age." (cf 62:64)
Hadith 62:15-64 (Wedlock / Marriage / Nikaah) "Allah's Apostle said (to me), 'You have been shown to me twice in (my) dreams. A man was carrying you in a silken cloth and said to me, "This is your wife." I uncovered it; and behold, it was you. I said to myself, "If this dream is from Allah, He will cause it to come true."' … Narrated 'Aisha: that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old, … " (cf 58:234)
Hadith 73:151 (Good Manners And Form / Al-Adab) "I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet, and my girl friends also used to play with me. When Allah's Apostle used to enter (my dwelling place) they used to hide themselves, but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me. … "

Bathetic Bathroom Baloney

If ever anyone needed further evidence that this made-up-on-the-spot-to-justify-my-whims religion was invented by someone with mental problems, surely these rules (taken from the so-called 'traditions') are exhibit #1.

This site lists what have to be the post pathetic, superstitious, OCD-inspired series of demented 'rules' ever devised by idiots, and followed blindly by the most gullible and unquestioning drones.

The bathroom must be entered leading with the left foot and departed with the right. (Left foot in, right foot out, but no shaking it all about because dancing is haram.)
Before entering, say a prayer to protect against all the devils and jinns that live in the bathroom.
All actions must be performed only with the left hand.
Washing should only be done an odd number of times.
If you don't want to become forgetful, then never look at your genitals.
When leaving the bathroom, say another prayer. (Just because, m'kay?)

And if you think that was bad, the same site also has lots of other things for people to do in specific ways, because everyone needs even more rules in their lives, especially those who are unable to think for themselves and so need 'guidance'.

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